As I write this blog entry, my dear husband, David, has been in the Intensive Care Unit of Paradise Valley Hospital for nearly a week. We headed over to the E.R. in the middle of the night after David complained of intense stomach pain and difficulty breathing (later added vomiting to that mix). After a series of scans and blood tests to look for gallbladder disease, the Dr.'s surprised us with the diagnosis of heart attack. They admitted him overnight for observation only. The follow day we met with the cardiologist and decided to have angioplasty done (to rule out heart blockage). It was a good thing we chose this route because David's heart was 85% blocked. The Dr.'s cleared the blockage and put in a stent and the hope was that he would be discharged the following day. No such luck! David's hypertension skyrocketed and he ended up being in ICU for 4 days while the staff did everything to bring it under control. It was a close call for us as his pressure remained in the "massive stroke" range for several days.
During this time, it became clear to me that there was a very good chance my dear husband of 22 years would not make it home. Only 49 and in fairly good health, neither of us believed that this could be happening. My prayers for his recovery were answered and the Lord faithfully provided excellent hospital care for him. He came home on Thursday and is under strict orders to rest and remain "stress-free."
It is an interesting feeling to be in this position. I have often visited friends, older relatives, and church family who had a loved one in a life or death position. I just never expected this to happen to me, not now, not yet. So many thoughts ran through my head: how will I make it? How will I take care of my almost 14 year old son? What will we do for income? What about the medical bills? I was confident of the Lord's provision and care but I couldn't fathom how I would be able to handle this "life interruption." I am a competent person, capable and able; yet, I have relied on my dear husband for the past 22 years and have been trusting of his abilities to guide and care for our family.
As I sat on my bathroom floor (Sunday) and cried out to the Lord, the most amazing thing happened. The Lord touched my heart and mind and settled my fears. In an instant, all my worries and doubts, my questions, and my anxieties passed away. His peace and mercy fell upon me and I knew, I just knew, that everything would be OK. I spent the rest of the week rejoicing at every new hope while I continued to lay my burden at His feet. Each time I crawled into my "quiet place," the Lord met me and refreshed me. He gave me quiet strength and the ability to let go and trust Him.
I am so grateful for the Lord's guidance and His never ending mercy and compassion. He has given me direction and a new hope -- a new vision for our future -- one bright with expectation and with dependence upon Him for our every need. My dear husband is recovering and is tolerating the medication well. He is still drained of energy but has started to feel more like his "old self" with each passing new day.
God is so good and His mercy endureth forever. I am praising Him today and thanking Him for His hand of blessing and cup of kindness.