March 26, 2010

I'm Dancing for Joy

Yesterday, I took the time to drive down to central Phoenix and visit the Covenant Home Resource Center. It is located at:

1117 East Devonshire Avenue
Phoenix, AZ 85014-4433
(602) 277-3497

I am on their email list, have been for the past six years, but have never actually gone done to their center. The CHRSC is a non-profit organization devoted to helping home schooling families in the Phoenix metro region. They have some co-op classes, but their big draw is their bookstore.

I usually purchase my home school curriculum online or through other cheapie sources like used book sales, library sales, Half Price Books, etc. Sometimes I will just buy new, but I try to buy used as much as possible. I am a spend-thrift, you know...a miserly person. Oh well! LOL!

I needed to pick up some textbooks for my son. We are almost finished with his Y11, but we are missing a few minor things, and I figured I could find a used textbook to fill the gap. I ended up buying two books: Apologia Chemistry (1st Edition), and The American Pageant. I needed the science textbook so that we could document our lab work. We didn't do science labs when we studied Chemistry. I used an online lab website that demonstrated the concept via video instruction. It was super interesting, but some colleges want to see the actual lab work, so we are going to do them over the summer. The History textbook was a super find, only $1. I went looking for BJU History, but they only had the old edition. It would have been just fine for our use, but then I spotted this copy, and knew it would be better. TAP is an AP/Honors text, very popular in the PS. I needed something for us to read through the end of this term as well as something to read for next year.

I came away with two wonderful resources, all for $22! Apologia would have set me back at least $60 new, and TAP would have been well over $100 to buy off Amazon. I am so excited at my finds, and know that they will work wonders for our schooling needs.

On a related note, I am now convinced that I am to home school my son through 12th grade. I have waffled on this point, back and forth, for the past couple months. I have put it to him that HE MIGHT have to go to public school for Y12. He is OK with it, either way he says, but I know in his heart that he would prefer to stay home and finish out his school this way. He is so ready for college, but he is intimidated by public high school. Go figure! Anyway, I feel confident that this is the Lord's will on this matter, so we are set for home schooling Y12.

My plans are well-set, have been for a while, but I didn't have the confidence to say "this is it." Well, until now. I have been waffling, looking over choices, and then finally the choice presented itself and it was like the Lord was saying to me, "Carol, choose." I don't think either choice was bad, they were just different ways to accomplish the same goal. My son would have done just fine at a PS for Y12. He will do just fine at home too. It really came down to making a decision and then saying "this is it." The Lord's will was fine, it was set, and I knew that He would provide regardless of the option I chose. I chose to home school because it is easiest for us to do. It is what we have been doing all along, it is almost finished, and there is no set back as far as getting into college. My son can do the Lord's will as far as college with either a home made transcript or a PS one. It is "six or one-half dozen" -- both are equal in essence. The one way is just more convenient, that is all.

So that brings up an interesting dilemma. I have been looking and applying for work since December. None of the jobs I have applied for have come through yet. I am waiting for some notice, but nothing is coming. Twice now, I have felt the Lord say to me: "Carol, you will do no work." I blogged about my need for rest awhile ago, but this is different. I know the "work" He wants me to do, and it is not "job" work, but rather ministry work. I know what is required for me to do this work. I am proceeding on that path, but it is something that will take many years for me to complete. Until then, I believed that I needed a "job" to make ends meet. He has been saying to me that I didn't need a job, but that I could do this work with His provision. I believed Him, I trusted Him, and I wanted to do this work His way. I guess I just couldn't give up the idea of working, you know, job working.

My friend (whom I am waiting for now to go have coffee and bagels with) said that perhaps the Lord wants you to only do school (graduate school) now? She is so smart. I thought that too, but then was feeling like I had to have a job. Now, I am thinking she is/was correct. The Lord has told me, literally told me, that I am to do no work other than this preparatory training (which includes graduate study). I know this. I believe it. I just didn't think it could possibly be -- I mean -- without some source of income. Too many "hows" are left unanswered, so for now, I am simply choosing to believe that this is the Lord's hand. This is what He wants for me, and it will be up to Him to bring it to pass.

Therefore, this is my decision. I am choosing to pursue the course of study laid out by the Lord (graduate school and all). I will believe that He will bring it to pass. It is His will, after all, and He is responsible for making it possible. I am going to begin to think this way, starting today. I am a full-time graduate student, working towards the degree of the Lord's choosing. How I will pay my bills, how I will live, as well as where I will live...that is totally in His hand.

I cannot tell you how weird it is right now. I am convinced of this being the case, yet I have no real answers or solutions to prove it (like a way to pay for graduate school). My heart is at ease, my mind is calm, and my Spirit is simply convinced this is the case. So be it. Thy will be done.

I am content to follow this path as it appears to be the one He has put me on. I am to stick to this trail until He tells me otherwise. How and when and wherefore, I do not know, but the One who is leading me forth; well, Him I know well. It is in His name that I pray, and it is in His Person that I believe. Therefore, there is nothing else that is needed. He is my all and all and my sufficiency, and my hope and trust lays solely with Him. To God be Praised forevermore. He will provide. He will do it because it is His will and He always keeps His promises and performs His will in our lives. Amen. Selah!

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