I am waiting to hear back on my applicaton, to see if I have been accepted to Mercy College's Master of Arts program in English Literature. I have all the required courses and experience, and very good grades...so it should be no contest. I just have to wait for them to go through the application process and decide whether or not to accept me.
Once I get the notice, then I feel like I can start moving on to the other items on the list. Graduate school has been a "must" situation for me. I have believed so strongly that this is the Lord's will, and have felt confident that Mercy College was HIS CHOICE for me. I knew it too, especially after I looked over the course content. It is a really traditional program, and it fits my style and interest well.
I have been waiting on a job, but now realize that in the Lord's timing, first things must always come first. His order is often not our own, and it often doesn't line up with what we think is top priority. But the Lord knows best, always does and always will, and we can be far more relaxed and patient if we bear that in mind.
In my case, graduate school has been on my "to do" list and I believe that it is integral to the plans the Lord has for my life. Therefore, it gets top billing, even above a critical need like a job. The Lord knows I need a job. He knows that I cannot live on my own without one, but He also knows that things like school, especially at the graduate level take time. The school does things in their own way, according to their own rules, and in their own time frame. They hold the decision, yea or nay, in their very fingers and there isn't much that can be done one way or another. You simply must do it their way, and then you must wait for their answer.
In doing so, I have had to trust the Lord on the outcome. He has promised me this: if it is His Will, then IT WILL BE. I hear this all the time (in my head), as a reminder to me that says "Trust me, I know what will be." If something is the Lord's will, then it will be done. It is really a matter of cooperating with His Spirit and then letting the Lord do what He does best: orchestrate, facilitate, and bring to pass those elements and components that make up His Will.
Oh, how I have come to love the Lord's Will. I used to fear it, to be afraid of what it meant, thinking only that it was something ominous and bleak (aka, suffering or painful). This has not been the case at all, for instead of fearing His Will, I have embraced it, and in doing so, I have come to see His Mighty and Precious Hand on every single element of it. It is so GOOD, just as He is, and every part of His Plan, including His Process, is GOOD. His Will lacks nothing, it is not incomplete nor imperfect. If we can believe strongly that God is Good, then we can begin to see that everything He does is Good also. It can be no other way. His inherent being is GOOD; therefore, He is Good through and through. His Will, His Plan, His Process, His Love and everything in between is GOOD.
I am so in love with His Will and with seeing His Good come to pass in my life. I recognize everything now as being from Him and being Good. I see the pain, true; I see the sorrow. I experience both; but something overcomes me and I simply see GOOD stamped over it. It is Good because He is Good.
As I think forward, looking to the future I only see the Lord's Goodness coming to pass. I see Him facilitating His Will and restructuring my life. I see His Hand moving ahead of me, clearing a path for me to follow. I see Him point His Finger and hear Him say to me "Go here or do that." If I obey Him, then I reap the reward of that obedience. I experience blessing for being obedient, but I also experience the reaping of what is to come (the thing or event of my doing). I get double-blessing from Him, first in my initial step, and then later when that thing or event comes to pass. It is an awesome thing to be blessed by God. It is an awesome thing to be considered valuable to Him, worthy of His Time. I love Him, and I love what He is doing in my life. He has shaped me, molded me, and created me uniquely for His Own Purpose. I am seeing that purpose come to fruition and it is so very exciting.
Thank you for your Love and for the Work you are doing in my life today. I thank you for everything you have done, and I praise you and honor you and give you all the glory for only you are worthy to receive it.