After I made my decision to go back to my original committment to the Lord, I decided to call it quits on everything else, but that which I believe is His will for my life. This means that I am stopping my search for a job here in Phoenix, putting all plans for my son's schooling (locally) on hold, and returning to the details of Plan A. I have no firm date in mind when Plan A will come to pass; I just know that Plan A is what I committed myself to, and Plan A is what I will stick to UNTIL the Lord tells me otherwise.
I recall several months ago hearing the Lord say to me, "Carol, stick to the plan. Do not deviate from it." Yes, Lord, I said. Well, not long after that, I was deviating from the Plan. Not on purpose, mind you; just a little waver here and there. After some time, I found that like a meandering river, those little wavers had turned into full-blown bends in the river of God's plan. Yes, little maneuvers this way and that led me to be quite a bit off course. I really didn't think it would matter that much, I mean, really...just a little waver?? Well, I found out that it only took a little waver, practiced consistently, to bring about a change in the river's path. Just like the Word says: "a little leaven leavens the whole lump" so a little doubt produces quite a bit of disbelief. One begets the other, and when the Lord tells you to steer a straight course, well then, you need not to take any side bends.
I learned my lesson (how many times now?) and decided to recommit myself to His word and to His plan for my life (the plan I believe He is calling me to live out). In doing so, I have also made the decision not to waver or bend on any point within it, just to make sure that I do indeed steer that straight course.
God is so very good to me, and it is His goodness that I see every single day. Whether I am on the right path or not, His goodness is what guides me, protects me, and provides for me. His goodness, therefore, is the reason I am able to say today: I am recommitted to seeing the Lord's Plan A come to pass in my life. Without His underlying goodness, I would still be stuck deep in that cavern, lost in my own handiwork. Instead, I can take great joy in the knowledge that His goodness keeps me in His stead, and provides a way for me to follow Him. As I walk in obedience to Him, I am able to keep His commands and statutes. I am able to live a life that is pleasing to Him. His Grace is what sustains me, and draws me back again and again -- each time I waver and doubt and find myself off course. His Grace is what enables me to see His Goodness -- even when I am frustrated and feeling as though nothing makes sense to me.
May the Lord be praised today and forevermore. His mercy endures forever. God is so very good to me! PTL!