Well, I received one notice from a local HR company telling me that the position I had applied for has been filled. I have since gone back through all the other positions I applied for and requested the status from those HR departments. I realize that this is not in "vogue" now, and that these HR people want to remain anonymous; but truthfully, for those of us seeking work, not knowing whether a position is still open is ridiculous. I mean, how can I know when to give up and move on, if I never know whether a position has been filled. I think it is unfair to prospective employees to treat them as numbers. I guess that is what companies want to do now, but I think it stinks!
So with some "bear on," I am moving forward on my goals, and am taking a much stronger stance on seeing them come to pass. First of all, I took stock of my goals to make sure they align with God's word, and with what I believe is His will for me. Interestingly enough, the very thing I was all hot and bothered about, was not even a goal on His list. Yes, weird isn't it to consider that getting a job was simply not a high enough priority for the Lord (in regard to my welfare). Now, I don't think He is disinterested; absolutely not. I think it is more a matter of what His Word says in Matthew 6:25-34 (NIV):
"Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more important than food, and the body more important than clothes? Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to his life? And why do you worry about clothes? See how the lilies of the field grow. They do not labor or spin. Yet I tell you that not even Solomon in all his splendor was dressed like one of these. If that is how God clothes the grass of the field, which is here today and tomorrow is thrown into the fire, will he not much more clothe you, O you of little faith? So do not worry, saying, ‘What shall we eat?’ or ‘What shall we drink?’ or ‘What shall we wear?’ For the pagans run after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them. But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own."
In truth, the Father ALREADY KNOWS that I need a job. This is sort of a non-starter, one of those rhetorical questions that needs not be answered. God has already provided everything I need for life: food, shelter, clothing. He knows that to live in this day and age, a person needs some means of employment, whether through self or through some other person. He knows that it takes a large sum of money to live well, to live modestly; and that with all the associated expenses for insurance and health care, that a person needs to earn a set amount each week. Furthermore, depending on where you live, some people need to earn more just to make ends meet. He knows all this, and He is well aware of what it costs to live here in Phoenix (and anywhere else He may choose to send me).
His goals for me are more sorted along His will. They are goals in and of themselves, but they are specific tasks that will prepare, will educate, and will enable me to do His specific work. Additionally, these goals are the ones that matter most to Him. For without them, I will not be ready to do the work He has called me to do. These goals, therefore, must be met at all cost.
My goals, the goals I think are of most value, tend to be the ones He has already accomplished (like food, clothing, shelter). I am seeking these provisions just as surely as I am seeking to accomplish the goals He has laid out. The difference is that I tend to seek the ordinary with an incredible amount of anquish, as if these are life and death. In God's perview, the other, the more important goals are paramount to His Will. The ordinary have already been cared for, provided -- I just don't see it -- because I am looking for something else.
How do I change my mind to match His mindset? How do I stop seeking the ordinary, and instead, focus on the extraordinary? I think the key is this: I think we must believe what the Word says, and then stop asking Him for the things He has already provided. In doing so, our eyes will be opened to see the truth, to see His Provision for us, and we will more willing to be grateful and thankful in return.
It is not that I am being ungrateful at all; in fact, I try very hard to be gracious and thankful all the time. The point is that I am trying to do something that the Father has said is already done. That very thought is too high for me to comprehend, but that is what I have been doing, and what I continue to do. I am not seeing the forest because there are too many trees in the way! LOL! God has already provided everything I need to live securely, confidently and to do His Will. So be it. I have been looking for something extraordinary to show up, when He has simply said to me "it is done." I have been waiting for the "thing" to arrive, when it has been sitting at my doorstep all along, waiting for me to open it up and start using it.
So, what does this mean for me? I think it simply means that I will never understand how God chooses to intervene in our lives. I am thankful that He does do this often, and especially when times are really tough. It also means that though I am to continue to be expectant and to wait for Him to provide for me, I must also recognize that often He has already done so. I need to open my eyes and see the truth, see the facts, and then accept them as such. I think this is the secret to happiness. It is not some fantasy come to pass, but rather, it is the acknowledgement that if Christ is our sufficiency, our all in all, then we lack nothing and need nothing more than Him and Him alone.
"For I determined not to know any thing among you, save Jesus Christ, and him crucified." ~ 1 Corinthians 2:2