June 21, 2010

A New Week, More Plans in the Works

It is Monday, June 21st, 2010. As I look forward to this week, I am reminded of the fact that in two short days, my niece will turn 26! She was a 3-month old baby when I was married. My SIL was a bridesmaid, and all I can remember, is worrying over whether or not she would be able to wear her bridesmaid dress (bought before she was pregnant!) LOL!! My niece will turn 26, and that seems like a milestone to me. She works for Northern Iowa University and is a Speech and Communications teacher. My how time sure does fly!

My son came home from camp sick -- yes, he has a cold. We thought it might be allergies, but now it sounds more like a summer cold. Bummer, for him. I detest any cold or flu, but especially do not like it when my child is sick. I am sure he will be fine, and I will be heading out to Wal-Mart soon to get some over the counter medication for him. Doctor Mom to the rescue.

My kitten is rebounding nicely, thanks to special eye drops from the Vet Pharmacist. These seem to be working and the inflammation in his eye is almost gone. PTL!

I have been thinking over my decision to put my son into SWC (Southwestern College) this fall. He would really like to go there now, but with all the upheaval in our lives right now, I think it is prudent to wait a year and follow their normal admissions process. This will enable me to get through first year graduate studies without having to worry about him starting college. He will still do college, but the courses he will take will be electives, and should prove no real difficulty to him this year.

This move will also allow him to get settled into college, and to try it out. The cost is low, about $200 per course (almost what I paid for our math program last year), and will give him the opportunity to be in class, do tests, and write some papers. I think it is a decision based in wisdom.

My next plan deals with my home. I have wavered over whether or not to move from my home. I have decided that this is the home the Lord has given to me, and until He tells me otherwise, I will stay put and do what I can to be a good "manager of my home."

"and so train the young women to love their husbands and children, to be self-controlled, pure, working at home, kind, and submissive to their own husbands, that the word of God may not be reviled" Titus 2:4-5 ESV

Though I will be working outside the home, it is still my calling to be a homemaker, and I will have to figure out how to do that and be an income producer too. I have done both before, but have not worked outside the home for some time. Now, that my son is grown, it will be easier for me to take on full-time work outside the home, and still keep a nice and tidy place to rest and relax.

Furthermore, I have decided that for now, this is the best place for us to stay. Our home is centrally located, about 4 miles from the community college, and less than four blocks from my son's piano teacher (and my cello teacher). We are also less than 1 mile from my parents home (2 minutes up the road). It is a good location for us, especially with me working full-time and my son being home part-time. This will enable him to go to classes, and be at home, without me worrying about him. Also, if he needs a ride, my parents are close by. He can ride his bike to piano lesson, and generally to the store, if he needed to do so (about half a mile from us). Overall, I think staying here benefits him most.

I will have to commute, but I have already resigned myself to that factor. I don't mind, and I plan on using the car time for listening to language tapes. The Lord and I like to drive, and I especially enjoy using the quiet time to speak with Him. I am not concerned about my commute time (about 30 minutes), and know that it will prove valuable in the end.

The last detail really depends on the Lord. I have applied for financial aid for college. I can swing my son's tuition at the community college, but cannot pay for my own classes without a really good job. I had hoped to be employed by now, so I am a little concerned about the timing of it all. I have to register for courses in July, and my prayer now is to be employed so that I can have some cash to pay (monthly payments) for my classes. More than likely I will be taking 2 classes this fall, 2 in the winter session, 2 in spring, and then perhaps 1-2 over the following summer. I should be done by then, able to graduate, and will be able to go onto the next stage of my educational plan.

So this is my plan this week. I know...my plans have shifted and changed over the course of months. I have asked the Lord why this is so, and He tells me that some of it is His will, and some of it is my doing. The more I am willing to be conformed to what He wants for me, the more I am able to be molded a certain way. Some options are no longer needed because I have chosen submission rather than flight. The more I think about what pleases Him, and then endeavor to do just that, the more He is able to move items out of my way here. The less I feel like I have to "go" someplace, and the less threatened I feel by staying put.

That is the easiest way to explain it, and in truth, I still don't really understand what He is up to in my life. Some days, I think I have Him all figured out, and some days I am totally clueless. Some days I wonder if I will ever achieve what I believe He wants me to do; and some days I feel so empowered as if nothing can stand in my way. I wish it were consistently that way -- the empowered, filled with grace, and fully functioning in His Spirit way. But, alas, I tend to muck up the works, get in the way, want to do things my way and not His way. I tend to make Him wait -- while I get my head screwed back on straight. I often make Him sit by and wait for me to slow down and listen OR in some cases stop doing certain things. I wish I would just let Him be, let Him do what He is determined to do, and be 100% on board with His plans. I say that I am, but then I don't always behave that way. This is something I really need to work on, because I have seen the difference. When I give way, He does amazing things through me and for me. When I get obstinate, then everything seems to come to a crashing halt.

Dear Lord,

I love you so much, and I believe that your will is perfect. I know that the plans you have for me are very good. Please give me the grace today to let your will be done in my life. I ask this in Jesus' Holy Name, Amen.

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