July 23, 2010

Changing Tactics

Alright, I am a bit disgruntled this morning. I mean, Target rejected me. This really bugs me. I was happily contented to work there, knowing that I would do a good job for them, be a model employee, and all, and they said, "No, sorry. Not interested at this time." UGH!

I am getting really down about this job search, but know that something is going to come through to me very soon. It is so hard to be unemployed. I know what other people are going through and I have great sympathy for them. I am getting the notices when my bills are due, and guess what? I can't pay them. I missed one payment earlier this year on my credit card, and my credit score dropped 100 points! Now, my credit, which was fair, is considered poor, and I cannot get any loans or financing help what so ever. It is dire for me.

Add to that little bit of information, the realization that by next month, I will be solely responsible for my mortgage and all the bills PLUS food for me and my son. Yes, my DH is proceeding to move out, and leave us without any financial support. I am really in a dire situation right now.

I have applied at Go Daddy (for the fourth time, I think) believing that they might be remotely interested in me since I am a technical person. I just applied as inbound sales/technical support (aka, one of the people you speak to when you call their 800 number). The pay is not great, but it will work. They offer good benefits, and they do promise increased salary as well a bonuses for high performers. That means "sales quotas" and such, and I have never been under that kind of pressure. However, at this point, I will do it. I will do it for sure.

I went over to Best Buy yesterday to look at the new IMacs. My computer is so slow that I can barely do anything on it anymore (and it is not that old). My son and I would like to go back to Macs. He needs one for video/audio work (his chosen field), and I simply am tired of all the PC stuff associated with Windows systems. They are so much more expensive, but they seem to last longer than PCs. I tried to apply for their 18 months/no interest financing and was denied. My credit is not good, of course. I didn't think they would approve me, but I thought "perhaps" they might. Oh, I hate to be right about these things.

So I have had rejection a lot this week. It is getting pretty tough to handle it, but I must perservere. This is what the Word tells us in James 1:2-5 (NIV):

"Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance. Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything. If any of you lacks wisdom, he should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to him."

Dear Lord,

May I consider this trial joyfully! May I think upon my circumstances as fleeting, and remember that the testing of our faith is just for a short time only. It works it's way into our lives and produces good results. May you be pleased with the way I am handling this rejection and this frustration over getting hired. I am trusting you, relying on your judgment and not my own (Proverbs 3:5-6). I know you have this all figured out, and it is all within your Gracious hand. May you be pleased this day, and may your Name be Praised forever more. God is so Good to me.

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