July 30, 2010

Feeling Persecuted

Persecute: v. to pursue with harassing or oppressive treatment, esp. because of religion, race, or beliefs; harass persistently.

I woke up today feeling a bit off the mark, thinking that something just wasn't quite right with me. I fell asleep last night hard, you know, like when you hit the pillow and your mind and body just sink into it with a thud. That is exactly what happened to me. I laid down on the bed, and then in what seemed like an instant, I was fast asleep. I dreamt most of the night, weird, funny (not as in ha ha, but as in odd) dreams. This has been two nights now that I have had a similar dream. They were different, but some of the elements were the same. In both dreams, I was walking down a long hallway. I also was dealing with people who were hindering my way, either directly or indirectly, but my way was not smooth.

It was not that I was blocked and couldn't move, but it was more like I was purposely tempted to go a different way. In one dream, I was in a car, a taxi, and the driver wasn't taking me where I said to go. He was driving me in another direction. I was upset, and kept yelling at the man, telling him to turn around, and take me where I needed to go. In another dream, I was wondering through the hallway looking for something, but I couldn't find it. People were in my way, not really stopping me, but not helping me either. It was weird, that is about the gist of it.

In the dream world, typically dreaming you are walking down a hallway symbolizes the path you are on. It might be a spiritual path or a physical one, but generally it means the road you are taking in the present. In my dream, I was walking down a corporate type hallway, like in an office building. The second dream, the hallway was more like in a hotel or maybe a apartment complex -- it was more of a place to live, than work. In both, the feeling that I was not getting to my destination was strong. In both, I also encountered people who tried to confuse me and keep me from getting to my destination. In one specific dream, there was a presence that asked me a question: "why do you keep trying to do this" or something of that sort (I don't remember the words). I knew what it was right away, and I confessed Jesus' name, and then returned to the dream of walking down this hallway.

I cannot really explain it, but I have always been a dreamer. I have had vivid dreams since I was a child, most off they were nightmarish. However, I have had these kinds of dreams, dreams that help me explore my emotions or my understanding of events or things in my life. Often, it is only after a time passes, and I reflect back on the dream, that I am able to piece together some nugget of truth. Most of the time, I don't ever really feel like I understand my dreams, other than to say I was frustrated, I was scared or I was lost. You know, just general feelings, that is all.

I think these two dreams are important to me, but I am not sure how they fit into my life right now. I only know that in both cases I was determined to follow a specific path or set of directives and I was being prohibited from accomplishing my task. This thought leads me to one conclusion only, and that is that I am being harrassed spiritually in an attempt to keep me from living the life God has called me to live. In short, I am facing persecution of the spiritual type, spiritual harrassment that is trying to dissuade me from following after the Lord, doing what I believe I am called to do, and living out my days in a way that ultimately brings Him Glory. It makes sense -- in fact -- it is really the only thing that does make sense to me.

As frustrating as this is, I actually am comforted in the knowledge that if my dreams are reflecting my struggle to follow the Lord THEN I must be doing something right! Hallelujah, God is GOOD. I mean, why else would Satan want to try and keep me from my appointed task? If I was on the wrong path, going the wrong way, would that not make him pleased? I think so. I think the truth is that I am on the path the Lord wants me on, doing exactly what He wants me to do, and Satan and his minions don't like it one bit. I am giving the Praise to God the Father, to my Glorious Savior -- His Son, and to the precious and amazing Holy Spirit -- the three in One -- God, Glorious and Majestic God alone. May His Name be praised forever more. Amen, so be it, it is done. Selah!

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