I woke up today feeling very uncertain about my future prospects. I received some notifications back on job applications -- not interested; not qualified, etc. Sigh! I cannot tell you how much that hurt my feelings -- not that I am upset over a company saying "sorry, we are not interested in you;" but rather, it was more due to the length of time I have been searching for a job, and the amount of frustration I feel over nothing happening at all. I have spent so much time writing resumes and cover letters only to hear nothing in return. Now, when I really press the issue, I am getting responses (Which is better? The saying goes "no news is good news" -- is that really the case? I think not.)
Now that I am getting rejection notices, well it just stings, you know? I know -- get over it, Carol, it is a part of life. Normally, I can handle rejection pretty well. I mean, who really likes it, right? I am not saying, "Hey reject me!;" but generally speaking, I can take it well. I guess it is just that after everything I have been through, rejection is tough. I feel like I have been rejected now by so many people, intimate people, friends, relatives, and those closest to me. I don't think I can handle much more of this and am asking the Lord, "When? When will this end?"
One thing I know -- my suffering and endurance is producing good fruit. I see it, I feel it, I experience it, and others are giving me feedback on it. So there.
On the bright side of things, I applied to Macy's Inc. last evening. I had applied to one specific position the day before (with their corporate division) and got that notice back within the hour. I was a bit upset over it, but then decided to just give my local store a try. I looked online and sure enough they were hiring part-time associates. They also were hiring full-time at another location not far from me. I applied, took the placement test and math test (ick!) and must have passed because I received notice back today that they would like to interview me for the part-time position at the mall closest to me. I am singing little praises today because it is the first glimmer of hope I have had in a very long time. I was getting to the point where I believed I was unemployable -- over qualified/under qualified/unverifyable employment. I made up my mind yesterday that perhaps I needed some work so that I could put that on my resume and downplay my ten years of self-employment. It seems to have made a difference (oh, not really -- I just need to take a little credit for something! LOL!)
Anyhoo, I am waiting to hear back on when I can go in to interview and I am hoping to hear positively on the full-time position as well. I would prefer full-time, but I am willing to work 20-25 hours to start, just to get my foot in the door.
Thank you for little praises! In the midst of all my feeling so inadequate and unacceptable, you offered me a little bit of hope today. May your Name be praised forevermore. I know your plans are good, and I am submitting and yeilding to your will for my life. Thank you, thank you, thank you! In Jesus' Name I pray, Amen.