July 16, 2010

Little Praises

I woke up today feeling very uncertain about my future prospects. I received some notifications back on job applications -- not interested; not qualified, etc. Sigh! I cannot tell you how much that hurt my feelings -- not that I am upset over a company saying "sorry, we are not interested in you;" but rather, it was more due to the length of time I have been searching for a job, and the amount of frustration I feel over nothing happening at all. I have spent so much time writing resumes and cover letters only to hear nothing in return. Now, when I really press the issue, I am getting responses (Which is better? The saying goes "no news is good news" -- is that really the case? I think not.)

Now that I am getting rejection notices, well it just stings, you know? I know -- get over it, Carol, it is a part of life. Normally, I can handle rejection pretty well. I mean, who really likes it, right? I am not saying, "Hey reject me!;" but generally speaking, I can take it well. I guess it is just that after everything I have been through, rejection is tough. I feel like I have been rejected now by so many people, intimate people, friends, relatives, and those closest to me. I don't think I can handle much more of this and am asking the Lord, "When? When will this end?"

One thing I know -- my suffering and endurance is producing good fruit. I see it, I feel it, I experience it, and others are giving me feedback on it. So there.

On the bright side of things, I applied to Macy's Inc. last evening. I had applied to one specific position the day before (with their corporate division) and got that notice back within the hour. I was a bit upset over it, but then decided to just give my local store a try. I looked online and sure enough they were hiring part-time associates. They also were hiring full-time at another location not far from me. I applied, took the placement test and math test (ick!) and must have passed because I received notice back today that they would like to interview me for the part-time position at the mall closest to me. I am singing little praises today because it is the first glimmer of hope I have had in a very long time. I was getting to the point where I believed I was unemployable -- over qualified/under qualified/unverifyable employment. I made up my mind yesterday that perhaps I needed some work so that I could put that on my resume and downplay my ten years of self-employment. It seems to have made a difference (oh, not really -- I just need to take a little credit for something! LOL!)

Anyhoo, I am waiting to hear back on when I can go in to interview and I am hoping to hear positively on the full-time position as well. I would prefer full-time, but I am willing to work 20-25 hours to start, just to get my foot in the door.

Dear Lord,

Thank you for little praises! In the midst of all my feeling so inadequate and unacceptable, you offered me a little bit of hope today. May your Name be praised forevermore. I know your plans are good, and I am submitting and yeilding to your will for my life. Thank you, thank you, thank you! In Jesus' Name I pray, Amen.

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