I got up late today, thankfully having slept in again (What is that? Two times in the past umpteen years?) I did get up to feed the boys. My little boy, Ike, likes to crawl up the covers (from the foot of the bed). He climbs up the side, under the quilt and sheet, and then attacks my feet. He attacks them on top of the covers too, but the new quilt is thicker so he can't really get a good bite-hold on me (ta-dum - I did that on purpose--of course!) So there I was, sleeping peacefully at 5 a.m., and getting my toes bitten on under the covers! Needless to say, I was up and out in the kitchen, sans eyeglasses, trying to spoon wet food into their bowls. I retreated back the bedroom, closed the door, and fell blissfully back to sleep.
I had some weird dreams, and weird thoughts too. Last night, we watched Russell Crowe in "A Beautiful Mind." I had not seen it prior, and picked it up at Target for $5. I am trying to collect all the Academy Award winning DVDs for our collection, and spotted this one at the checkout stand. It was superb, deserved winning the award for Best Picture, that is for certain. However, it gave me dreams about Schizophrenia, and well, who needs those kind of dreams.
Have you ever thought you were mentally insane? I have. Not that I have any reason to think so, but since I was a child and watched "Sybil" (Why ever?), I have worried that I was mentally insane (split personality, etc.) Of course, I am not, and I know so, but those movies impressed such thoughts on your mind, and sometimes you just wonder about yourself. I mean, I talk to myself, always have, and find myself doing it out loud. I talk to myself all day long. Now, I talk to the Lord, and will find myself saying things like, "Do you think I should buy this now?" I am sure people in the stores next to me think, "Ok, crazy alert. That lady is wacko." People laugh and say, "Yes, Carol, but does God answer you?" Like that is the test, you know, if you hear voices and such. I want to say "Yes" and then remind them that Samuel heard the Lord's voice, as did many of the prophets of the Old Testament. I mean, Moses spoke with God; David spoke with God. I don't mean "spoke at God or to Him;" no, I mean held a conversation with Him.
Yes, I am wacky because I do believe God hears me and I do believe He speaks with me. My spirit understands, and somehow I do as well. I cannot really explain it, but it is what it is, and I have learned to be content with it. I still think I may be crazy, but I don't think I am mentally insane.
This brings me round to the topic of today (long digression, and probably enough to send all my followers packing! Sorry about that one!!) I am thinking more about tomorrow (the tomorrow of the future, and not literally TOMORROW) and waiting patiently for the Lord to deliver His plan to me. I have done everything I can do, and I am now waiting on His timing. I have applied for work, and just today, spoke with Him about it (again, for the zillionth time). I reminded Him and me (he he he, as if He needs me to remind Him of anything) that He can provide for me without a job. I mean, He is able to do this -- He can provide income for me without me getting a job. It is more probable that He will bring me work because that pleases Him (the Apostle Paul cautions the early believers and reminds them not to rest on the charity of the church -- if they can work, they must. If they want to eat, they must work. It is a good thing.) I know that He will open up one of these avenues of employment very soon, and right now I just have to wait them out. This is really the issue at point, because frankly, I am getting tired of waiting Him out. I am also getting concerned because I may have to take on the whole kit-and-kaboodle of my life at the end of this month (that is in seven days). I have no way to make my house payment on the first of August -- I don't have enough money to cover that one. Plus I now am aware of the utilities that need paid on the 1st or 2nd of the month. I don't have enough to cover those either.
The Lord knows this, He knows what is what, so I just reminded Him that He is able to do these things for me. He smiles when I do that (I think He does) because whenever we take the time to remember His Power and Ability, we are giving testimony to Him as God. So if we recount the blessings of God, the Power in our life, and the Grace shown to us -- we are giving Him Glory for these things. This is why the Old Testament is constantly repeating the liberation from Egypt story. You probably thought it was because they didn't have paper and pen, so they needed to repeat it for everyone to remember it. This partly true -- that is how oral tradition works. But, it is also true that they repeated the story to remind the people of God's Faithfulness to them. It was a way to encourage them to stay the course, to keep on focused, to not lose heart.
This is why we are told to "give thanks" and to remember to do so in everything. When we give the Lord thanks for what He has done, we remind ourselves that He is Faithful. If He was Faithful in 2000, He will be Faithful in 2010. God never changes, and by remembering His works, even the works of old, we take courage and know that He is Able to do all things according to His Will and Purpose for our lives. Yes, He is Faithful, and He can do all things.
"For with God nothing shall be impossible." Luke 1:37 (KJV)