I got an email this afternoon telling me that Apple would like to interview me! Praise the Lord! I am so excited, and I really feel (FEEL) that this is the Lord's will for me. I just know it!
It was just like with Macy's. I had this feeling that the Lord had opened up an opportunity, and that all I needed to do was walk on by with Him. Everything was in the bag, so to speak. I can remember sensing this feeling like I wasn't really in control of what was happening, it was more like He did it and I just followed. This is how I feel now, I cannot really explain it; but I feel like I am doing this, yet not really.
I prayed about this very thing today. I said, "Lord, yesterday when I went through my interview at Rio Salado, I felt like you were 'not in it' with me. It was not like it was at Macy's. I felt all alone and like it was up to me to do a good job and go through the process." The Lord replied, "I was there with you; just not faciliating the interview for you." Huh? Well, what I have learned about the Lord's will and such is this: the Lord always faciliates those items that are within His will for your life. He makes the way smooth, He prepares our words, gives us the right answers, and just goes before us to enable our success. If the thing is His will, then He makes it come to pass. If the thing is not His will, or not directly what He wants for us (within the scope of His will); sometimes He lets us go through to gain wisdom or experience or simply to test/try it out. There is a keen difference between having Him faciliate something and doing it on your own. Once you have experienced Him doing this for you, you just don't want it any other way.
I have experienced His faciliation twice now. The first time was when I bought my little car. I did it, of course; but the Lord led me through the process. He gave me guts and hard words for those salesmen (you know used car sales people -- they are tough as nails). He strengthened me, and made me stick to my guns. He did it, He negotiated a sweet deal for me, and I walked away thinking 'how did that happen?' Yes, the Lord of Glory went before me and made a way for me to get a car.
The second time was when I went to interview with Macy's. He told me that I would get this job. There was no uncertainty in the matter, the job was mine. I was still nervous, I was still anxious -- after all it had been almost 20 years since I have interviewed. I went into that job interview, experienced total chaos -- the schedule was messed, the person I was supposed to meet with was out of town, etc. -- yet, God faciliated it and I got hired. I remember sitting there and the words just came out of my mouth. I didn't think about what I was saying, I just answered the questions. The HR manager kept asking me if I wanted to be hired, if I would work days, if I could start right now. I just kept saying "yes, yes, yes." Just like that -- I only said "yes."
I feel the same way with this job. I don't think it is because I am all hot and fired to work in retail with Apple; no, not at all. I don't think it is because finally they have called me either. It is more so a sense that tells me, "This is my will. This is the job I have chosen for you to do."
Yes, Lord; I am here to do your will. I am ready for the job you have chosen for me. May your way be smooth, may my day be conformed to whatever job you want for me. I am yours, and you are mine. I love you Lord, and I love the plans you have for me. May God be praised forever more. Amen, amen, amen. So be it, thy will be done.