August 19, 2010

Feeling at Ease

I am ready for work (it is 10:45 - so an hour to go before I have to leave), and thinking now about how I feel about everything in my life. I have blogged this before, and still I cannot get over it -- I am so at ease with my life. This is testimony to God, for only He can take the shambles of a person's life, restore and renew their strength and soul, and then turn it into something quite beautiful.

An online home school friend of mine is in a similar situation. Though I don't know the details of her life, I do know that she has found herself single after a number of years of marriage. Her kids are almost grown -- her son is perhaps 17-18 now. Her daughters are on their own, so she is really more able to do whatever she needs to do. She is also trying to finish her education, and work, and is currently without a home (she is staying with a friend). In all, her situation is like mine --up ended at the midpoint of life (40-50s). She is deeply devoted to Jesus, and "miracle of miracle" she is praising God too. She describes her life exactly as I do. I think this is God at work in the hearts and minds of women, His women, women who love Him and seek Him and desire to serve Him; but, who have been mistreated, manipulated, and sometimes abused by the men they trusted. These women are like those mentioned in the Bible -- widows, though not always a widow by death. These women have been abandoned by the men they loved, they devoted themselves to for years, and bore children for the purpose of having a family. These men walked out, they up and left, they "moved on" and they sought companionship with other women. They may be actively engaging in adultery or more pernicious, just acting out with imagery on the Internet, books, magazines or video. Nonetheless, they have forsaken Godly marriage and the fidelity of the marriage bed, for the lust and passion of godless sex.

I am one of these women, I am someone who never contemplated being divorced or alone at this point in my life. Yet, here I am. Here I am learning how to be single again -- and not the way godless women do it, flaunting their breasts and backends at dives and in drunken pursuits of sex. No, like most Christian women who find themselves suddenly alone, they turn to the only One who is there -- God Almighty, the Lord God, Creator and King Jesus. Yes, they turn to the One who promised never to leave them or abandon them (forsake them). And, in turning towards Heaven and God's own Home, they find sweetness and light and Goodness. They find that time spent in His Presence reveals a multitude of rewards. Not only does their faith deepen, but their relationship with the Lord morphs into something beyond reality. They are no longer seeking Him, but they are sitting at His feet and worshipping Him with all their heart, mind, soul and strength. Yes, they are experiencing renewal beyond renewal, and a transformation is taking place in their mind that reminds them that as He is God, so their life is firmly fixed in the palm of His hand. He has them now, and no one; and I mean no one, will ever snatch them away. No human being, no mortal man can hurt them or harm them or lead them astray -- so long as they fix their eyes upon Jesus.

As I keep my eyes upon Jesus, I am coming to see Him in a new and magnificient way. I see His Sufficiency, and I know that everything will be OK. I see Him as my Provider, my King and my Shepherd, and I know that nothing will hurt me. I see Him as my King and my Master, and I bow before Him to worship Him and give Him all praise and Glory. Yes, I see Jesus now in a new and wonderful way, and I am so in love with Him. There is nothing today or tomorrow or any other day that will ever separate me from the love of God that is mine in Christ Jesus! Amen, so be it, thy will be done.

"For I am sure that neither death nor life, nor angels nor rulers, nor things present nor things to come, nor powers, nor height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord." Romans 8:38-39 ESV

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