August 30, 2010

What If

"The steps of a good man are ordered by the LORD: and he delighteth in his way." ~Psalm 37:23 KJV

As I sit here and blog, I am reminded of this Psalm which tells us that the Lord orders (establishes or makes firm) our steps (our goings). I like the second part whereby the psalmist says that "he deligheth in his way." What is noted here is that the Lord establishes our going in such a way that it brings Him pleasure -- it pleases Him to set our course, and direct and plan our way.

How many times have I asked the Lord to direct my steps, only then to choose my own way? How many times have I come to a fork in the road and wondered which way to turn? When I inquire of the Lord and ask, He Graciously tells me; but then I choose to go the other way. Why? Why do I do this all the time? Is not God's way best? Is not His ordering of our steps for our benefit?

Yes, and yes and yes, again. I believe this, I sincerely believe it. But, no matter how much I say I believe it; my heart tends to belie that statement. My faith and my works do not equal, they do not complement each other. I say I have faith, but my works do not demonstrate what I say. I often have works, but there is no faith in them. Why? James writes this of us in chapter 2 (NIV):

What good is it, my brothers, if a man claims to have faith but has no deeds? Can such faith save him? Suppose a brother or sister is without clothes and daily food. If one of you says to him, "Go, I wish you well; keep warm and well fed," but does nothing about his physical needs, what good is it? In the same way, faith by itself, if it is not accompanied by action, is dead. But someone will say, "You have faith; I have deeds." Show me your faith without deeds, and I will show you my faith by what I do.

Argh! I suffer with this very thing, and today, of all days, I am sunk. The truth has borne itself out. I went to that darn interview with my faith in my mouth; but when it came time to put my works to the test, I simply rolled over like a whipped puppy (ew - that is not a good saying! How about "tired puppy"? I like that better.) What I am saying is that when I was tested on this point, I failed. I lost the battle when it came down to putting my money where my mouth is/was. Yes, I did it. I lost the battle simply because I refused to believe what the Lord had told me, and I refused to listen to Him, and then abide in Him (and in His decision).

Dear Lord,

I understand now that I have been tested today. This job interview, whether it comes to pass or not, has shown me how my wavering faith can get in the way of your plans for my life. If I say I believe what you are saying, then I must act as I believe. I didn't do that today, and I now understand why. Please forgive me for my lack of faith and my unwillingness to trust you. I ask you now to help me trust you in the plans you have for me, and I ask that you would show me what I am to do from this point forward. I praise your Name, and I give you all Glory and Honor. In Jesus' Mighty Name I ask this, Amen.

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