September 15, 2010

Thinking and Pondering

It is a good Wednesday morning, and I am feeling fine. I have had several successful nights of sleeping (all night long -- PTL!) and I am feeling quite refreshed. My online courses are going well, and I feel confident that I can continue to do well in them. I love my schooling, and I love the plans the Lord has for me. They are both GOOD.

Work at Macy's is going well, and I am finally settling into the routine of working PT flexible hours. I like that my schedule seems to be working out to be about 3 days each week. Some weeks I have four days, with 2 of those days being 3-4 hours long. Other weeks, it is about 3 full days of work. My feet are accustomed to standing now (thanks to my Walmart Earth Spirit clogs). I am also more comfortable with the routine and expectations of working retail. I understand what I have to do, how to do the register, and how to open accounts. Everyone there is nice to me, and I don't mind the work (rather mindless, but still good practical work).

My son's life seems to be going upwards, thanks to some specific people praying for him. The power of prayer -- it is awesome! He is meeting with our Pastor regularly (to discuss guy stuff -- thank you , Jesus!), and he is now more involved in church with music/worship. He feels confident that the Lord wants him to study audio engineering at college, and he is more devoted to his studies. I see a great change in him personally, and I notice that he just seems to be "older" all of a sudden. He looks older, acts older, and appears to be more solid, more steadfast, and more in control -- less lost. I am so pleased, and he seems geniunely happy. God is so Good to us.

My marriage is as it has been for the past year, in limbo. We are still together, yet not together. We still live under the same roof, but we are not in relationship with one another (other than in a casual, sort of roommate type way). This is not my will, but it appears to be the Lord's for the time being. I want to move out or have him move out, but the Lord appears determined to keep us as is for the time being. I am content to not allow myhome life to upset the rest of what God is doing in my life, so I leave it alone. I do what I must--cook, clean, and generally keep the house well ordered; but other than that, I feel like I am just biding my time, so to speak.

My husband's parents call often now, wanting us to help them out with tasks around the home. With my work and school schedule, I am not able to do this much anymore, and they have recently lost a good friend (due to a move out of state) who often came over and did such things for them. They are seeking to move to assisted living, but are waiting now for confirmation whether or not that will be possible. Until then, my husband has helped them out, but there is strain in that relationship, so generally it is difficult on a daily basis to just do what must be done.

All in all, life is very good. It could be worse -- always worse; and, God has seen fit to ensure that both my son and I are well-cared for and provided with our basic needs. I am blessed through the struggles and turmoil, and even when I don't know what to do, God is always there to assure me -- it will be alright. He is so Good like that, and I love Him with my entire being.

Thank you, Jesus for caring for me and for meeting every single need that I have this day.

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