October 29, 2010

Waiting is Killing Me

AGH! It is so hard to wait. I have been so patient all these months, waiting for certain things in my life to end, and certain things to begin. Now, I am waiting for word on this job, and even though they said I wouldn't hear until next week, the wait is killing me. Perhaps it is because "I think" this is the job the Lord has for me? Perhaps it is because I am just so tired of waiting, waiting for things to shift and move and finally change? Perhaps it is a bit of both, but nonetheless, I am tired of waiting for my life to arrive.

Yes, I know...it is not as if I am dead and waiting to be brought back to life again (good question though...do the dead feel themselves waiting? Oh that is too weird of a thought, so I won't digress.) I am living now, I am living every day -- so it is not like I am really waiting for anything at all. Then again, I guess I am waiting for my new life to begin, for the life God has promised me to arrive. Yes, this is what I am waiting for and this is what I am longing to come to pass.

  • God has promised Good to me
  • He has promised me a job that will provide security and support so that I can live well in Phoenix
  • He has promised me the opportunity to attend graduate school, to work towards the career/ministry work He has for me later on in life
  • He has promised an end to the misery of my failed marriage. Though I am still married, I am in this relationship alone. My DH lives here, but doesn't live with us. He is living outside the boundaries of Christian marriage, and as such, we are simply co-existing under the same roof.
  • And lastly, God has promised that all the sorrow of the past year will turn to joy at His Coming. Yes, I look for the JOY of my Salvation and I Know that this present sorrow is nothing compared to the JOY we will receive at His Coming.

Until then, I must endure (1 Thess. 4) the heartache and trial. I must endure with patience and I must remember that these trials are nothing new or out of the ordinary. All Christ Followers suffer this way, and we all share in His Glory through our suffering. This is how we are conformed to His likeness. It is part of the process of being a Christian. I may not like it when I am in it, but I know it has its perfect work to be done. I am being made like my Savior and King, I am being made fit for His Eternal Glory. Praise be to God, I am being made into what He desires for me and all His children. May God be blessed today, and even though I don't feel like it right now, I am blessing His Name because to do so Honors the One who died to save me from my sins and who has through His Ressurection Life made the way for me to be with Him in Eternity. Bless the Lord, O my Soul! Bless the Lord!

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