I just re-read my last post, and I said to the Lord, "This is scathing. Are you sure I should post this to my blog?" The Lord replied to me, "It is the truth." "Yes," I said, "but should I always state the truth so bluntly?" Sigh.
I tend to do this, it is my nature and my bent. I have always had an issue with the truth. I have been told, "Carol, you are a horrible liar," which is absolutely true. I learned very early on that I couldn't tell fibs and get away with them. I was always caught in them, and usually I started to cry as soon as anyone looked crossways at me. I stopped doing it when I reached the age of understanding (teenage) because of how it made me feel. I couldn't handle the guilt, the shame, and the feelings -- oh the overwhelming feelings of knowing that I was not being honest. I still tell lies, I wouldn't be alive if I didn't, and I still am not always truthful. I just don't blatantly tell them. They are those little "untruths" we allow to slip into conversation, those little slipups where we over-embellish, add a bit, or downplay some -- just to make the story or verse more interesting (or less hurtful). I am a liar, yes; and so are you. We all are -- the difference is in the scale of the lie. I admit it, and I live with it, and I confess it to the Lord daily. He knows my weakness is in embellishing, so that is where He focuses His attention on me. I can tell a good story, and I can weave a pretty tale -- so I take extra pains to be correct, to make sure I don't do that, and instead, just say it like it is. The Word tells us to make our "yes a yes, and our no a no." We are to be truthful, honest, and forthright -- just not malicious and willfully intentional in hurting or shaming someone.
So, how much truth is good for us? Should we always call a Spade a Spade?
I don't know really, but it is something that has nibbled at me for a long time. I do this, I blurt things out, and then I often feel ashamed for doing it. I don't tell things to people's faces -- no, I wouldn't intentionally hurt them, but I do say things in writing (which is my medium of choice), and my words can sting. In fact, my words have stung many times, and I have become cautious about using them. This is an issue with the Lord as well because He has given me a voice and He has asked me to use it. I have used it incorrectly at times, and then have decided it was best not to use it at all. He has called me up on that one, saying that I need to not shy away from the gift He has given, and instead allow His Spirit to train me in it's use. My fault is that I don't want to hurt anyone, so I tend to just close my mouth. God says "I called you to use your mouth, therefore, do not close it up." Yes, Lord, but...
No buts really. The Lord gives and the Lord takes away, and I have experienced both sides of His Nature. I have experienced the blessing of receiving a gift, and the sorrow when that gift is withdrawn due to my lack of use or my unwillingness to be trained IN ITS USE.
Lord, you are right, and I confess this to you. I need your Holy Spirit to train me in how to speak the truth in love:
"Rather, let our lives lovingly [a]express truth [in all things, speaking truly, dealing truly, living truly]. Enfolded in love, let us grow up in every way and in all things into Him Who is the Head, [even] Christ (the Messiah, the Anointed One)." Ephesians 4;15 AMP
Ok, I see it here plainly. I like the Amplified because it elaborates on the Word itself. We are to express truth in all things so that we grow up in Christ, so that we become like Him. Hmmm...how am I doing in that regard?
I know that you have given me the gift of speaking truth into the lives of your people. I still speak like a natural man, and at times, I get myself into real trouble with my mouth (and my fingers). Help me to speak the truth the way your Word says -- with love, always speaking it, living it, and dealing with it. I don't want to offend, and I don't want to be silent when I must speak truth. Help me to understand how to use the truth rightly, to speak it and live it so it brings honor to your Name. I ask now that your Holy Spirit be allowed to train me up, to teach me how to use my voice for your Glory and your Praise. I don't want to shirk back, and I don't want to ram on ahead. I want to be used for your Name, and in a way that brings you Praise. I ask this now in Jesus' Name. Amen, so be it, thy will be done.