How many times have I written this statement before? Hmmm....let me count...perhaps three or four dozen! LOL! I am truly done this time, simply because I cannot think of anything or any place else to go (or sink into). I think I have sunk as far as I can, and now I am literally and physically done. Let me explain.
First of all, I am done as far as my spiritual and mental state goes (and it's overall health and well-being). I have come through the firestorm of change in my life, and I have survived it! PTL! I have survived it.
Secondly, I am at the point of embarking on the very thing that will change my life immediately. Though I am wary of taking any credit, and I do not want to place too much emphasis on a FT job -- the truth is -- a full time job is exactly what I need right now to usher in the change I am longing for and needing.
Thirdly, I am grateful to God for His Provision -- all of His Provision. This includes Macy's and my uncle's dear help over the past year. I am ready to begin supporting myself, and I cannot thank the people in my life who have graciously provided for me (food, money, support, etc.) to help me get through the tough and dark days.
Lastly, I want to move away -- yes this is true. But, God has a plan and a purpose and I believe that right now that plan and purpose is to stay put. I cannot go where I cannot go -- no matter how many times I feel the Lord leading me there. I know I will go, but right now, He has provided a way for me here, and this is the door I must open. I can continue to look forward, of course; but, I need to focus on what is right in front of me, and not always look so far off.
What does this mean for me? I think it means this:
When you come to a fork in the road -- take it (to quote Yogi Beara). Yes, sometimes God uses what is right in front of our eyes to provide for us, and sometimes this preparation works to make us more agreeable and ready to do what comes next. If we are always waiting for what is next, we may very well miss it because we are not prepared. God has provided a job opportunity for me at Phoenix College. It might only be 6 months -- but it is 6 months of good work versus 6 months of nothing. I am tired of applying and waiting and hearing nothing. No, this is the job that I want, and this is the job I am waiting to receive. It is done.