November 2, 2010

Macy's versus Phoenix College

Well, yesterday came and went without any phone call. Today there is a possibility of hearing, BUT, I am gravitating towards this attitude: "the call will come when I least expect it." This has been the pattern with the Community College all along, so why should it be different now? Nothing gets done when the folks say it will get done -- nothing at all. They are slower than molasses on a summers day. I mean it, I really mean it. The job at Phoenix College is a 1-year position, but due to the time it has taken to get interviewed and hired, I am now looking at 6 months (or maybe even less by the time HR gets to my file and actually calls me). I am thinking that this is their "game" and that they are doing this to avoid having to pay someone to work. Oh well...

Working, working in general, brings up Macy's. I have been consistently employed at Macy's for almost four months now. I really do not like it, but it has been a good help for me. I have met some nice people, but most have disagreeable attitudes (I think it is the environment and the pressure to sell credit). I also have not cared for standing all day long -- on my feet -- which is a killer for me. Overall, though, Macy's has been a God-send, a refuge of sorts, whereby I can go to escape my life here at home. I go to work, do my job, and get paid every Friday. The money I make is a pittance, as I have described before, and is not enough to live on (completely). It has been enough to pay bills and buy food (Thanks be to God for His Provision). I have been offered another temporary job there, but I declined it thinking I would be hired at Phoenix College. I still believe that Phoenix College will hire me -- but now I wonder for how long, and if the effort to get in there is really worth it?

I mean, let's consider my situation. I presently need full-time work so that I can pay for my own expenses. This means that I need $2000 per month to ensure that my home is paid for, my bills are under control each month, and I have food and miscelleanous items necessary for me and my son's well being. I don't need a lot of money, but I need it to be consistent -- to be steady. Right now, my DH is bringing home less than that amount (by half) and we cannot live on his income and my Macy's money. I need more money, and I am tired of having my electricity and gas turned off for unpaid service.

I pray, I ask the Lord, and I wait -- but how long must I wait, Lord?

I know the Lord's plans for my life are good. I know He knows exactly what will work for me, long term, and that He has this all figured out. I don't know what today or tomorrow will bring, I just know that I need more than what I have, and that I am wholly dependent on Him for provision of it. Oh, Lord -- forgive me for thinking that this job would solve all my problems! I have said this too many times, that this job would solve everything -- as if it were the answer, the solution, and the THING to seek (lust after). I ask you now to forgive my attitude. I know that You are the One who gives me everything I need. I am not to lust after anything -- even a well-wanted and well-needed job. No, I am to Worship the One who is the Giver of all Gifts, and only look to your hand for provision.

Thank you, Lord, for providing this opportunity to me. Thank you for your promises to me. I know your plans are Good, and I know your timing is Perfect. I will wait for you to provide what is needed to me, and not look to anyone, anything or any job to solve my life's circumstance and/or situation. I confess this now in Jesus' Mighty and Matchless Name, Amen.

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