I am suffering mightly today. I worked three days already, and now I have to pull myself together to work another 8-hour shift today. I normally can do two back-to-back shifts, but I cannot do three or more. The third day is the killer, and yesterday I worked 12:45-9:15 p.m. It is such a long shift, still only 8-hours, but it spans the entire day, and I think that is why it is so hard to do (everyone complains when they get it). Oh well, at the least I will get a full paycheck this week. God is so Good to me.
On another God-is-so-Good note, I received a check in the mail yesterday from Mercy College. Apparently, I didn't use all my financial aid, so they are required by law to disburse the funds back to the student. It was a nice chunk of change, and I wasn't sure what to do with it. I called the college to verify it was correct (they said yes), and then they gave me the option of keeping it or sending it back and paying down on my loan. They said most students keep it, to help them live on while attending school. I can see this -- it does make sense -- so I decided it was a gift from God, and deposited in my savings account. I will have to use some of this money for bills, but about half will stay in savings and will enable me to move out now. I am praising God for his provision. Moreover, since I will only take two classes in the spring, I will get the exact same amount sometime after the first of the year. Of course, this is all part of my low-interest loan, and I will have to pay this money back along with my tuition; but now that I am only working PT, and have not found a FT job, this money is truly a God-send. God is so Good to me.
In addition to plumping my savings up, this check also will ensure that my son has a nice Christmas. Not that gift giving is high on our list, as it never has been a priority; but we have always tried to get our son one gift each year (preferrably the item he really wanted). This year, it is an IPod, but praise be to God, he has been working and now has enough money to buy that on his own. He and I would like IPhone's and since DH has been pressuring us to get our own account, now I will have the money to buy the phones and switch carriers. I didn't want to do it until I had steady income to pay the bill. So even if we get the phones, we might not turn them on until I feel confident that I can manage the service charge on my own (we are on a family plan right now, and me and DS use hardly any minutes -- but a family plan with AT&T will cost more for us, so I want to be sure I can swing it before we get the phones).
This money would also enable me to fly to a city, should a job ask me to interview. I was worried about how I might swing that one. I didn't think I would have the money to go overnight. I also thought about paying off my Capital One bill, which I think is a good idea. This would give me credit access again, should I need it. I have had a CO card for about8 years, and have never been able to use it. It has carried the same balance, almost $750 since we got it. I would like it paid off, and then have the ability to use it should I need it in a pinch. Plus once the bill is lower, I can feasibly pay the bill off each month. I would like that and hope that it will work for me.
Lastly, with the second installment of my loan coming to me after the first or the year, this means that I can get a laptop computer. I have needed one for work/travel for a long while, but of course, it was not a critical need. I would like to have one so that I can be up to date on my skills. I have found that employers expect you to have a laptop and Blackberry (or in our case, a MacBook and IPhone). They want your schedule to be integrated with mail, etc. and I am an old dinosaur who has been unable to do that for years (due to financial reasons). I see this as a possibility now. God is so Good to me.
However, putting purchases aside, the main use of this money will be to ensure that we don't lose our house. We have been late twice (still late this month), and now we can pay November, and know for certain that December and January will be paid on time. Whew! I am not adverse to walking away from my home, whether through moving out or simply selling it as is -- but I would rather sell it and be done with it, then to lose it to the lender. My credit is perilously close to the bottom line, and I am trying so hard to boost it up. Selling my house is the right thing to do, and since our lender wants out in May, this is something we have to plan on doing.
God is forever good. He is always doing Good things for us, and He always makes it Good -- even when we think or feel or sense that it is not. The reason it is always Good is because He is Good. If you have God within, then you have His Goodness. If you experience God -- then you are recipient to that Goodness. The essence that is God, His Good attribute is always ON -- never off/on, never hot or cold. No, God is always Good. I love that fact, and I love the fact that even when I feel pinky, like today, I know that God is Good and He desires Good for me. I rest in that fact, I abide in His Good Spirit, and I am lifted up and blessed with His Good charity. God gives liberally, and He loves us with an enduring and everlasting love. I love Him, and He loves me. Together, we share in His Goodness (He is, and I receive -- what a blessed union).
I love You Lord
and I lift my voice
To worship You
O my soul, rejoice!
Take joy, my King
in what you hear
May it be a sweet, sweet sound
in Your ear.