December 22, 2010

Resting in the Lord

Well, I think I am finally getting over this flu/cold bug.  I came down with it over the weekend, and I thought for sure that I wouldn't finish my school work, especially my papers.  I did it, though, and I turned everything in on time.  PTL!

Moreover, I actually took care of my son's college, making sure that all his papers are in order, and the school had his residency set correctly.  He received his scholarship, so he is enrolled for Spring as an Honors Student (PTL!)  This means that as long as he keeps his grades up (A-Bs), he will continue to get a scholarship for waved tuition.  I know he can do it, and I am thanking the Lord this provision.

Yesterday, we also visited our Orthodontist for a retainer check.  My son's teeth shifted last summer, after missing a week of retainer wear.  They are good now, but not where they should be.  He knows this was his fault, and he knows that it just is what it is -- still, disappointing for me and his grandparents who paid the bills. 

After visiting the college and the Orthodontist, we stopped by Walmart.  I was hoping to get a special gift for my son.  It had been on special, and silly me, I thought it was on special through Christmas.  Nope, just three days, so I missed the sale.  We ended up at Best Buy and came out of that store with a PS3 and some Blue-Ray DVDs and a couple games (he bought them).  Since he had gotten into college on a scholarship, this was his present (saving me about $1000 out of pocket).  He knows he needs to work hard this semester to keep me happy (and to keep his award), so this gift was an early Christmas treat.  I cannot describe the look on his face when I told him he could pick one up.  I have never seen him so mystified.  He just couldn't believe that he was getting a PS3.

As I came home, I marvelled at our day.  I was sick as a dog, barely able to speak, and yet we took care of some major business.  My school was finished on Monday, and Tuesday we did some shopping.  Today, I am going with my Dad for breakfast and then some shopping for Mom.  The rest of the day is resting, and getting ready to work the 6-12 shift at Macy's.  I have to work tomorrow too, but just from 6-9 p.m.  Then I have off until Sunday, and my next week schedule is not bad.

I have decided to not continue on at Macy's after the 1st of the year.  I hate to just quit, but truthfully, I don't think I can do it anymore.  My feet have become used to the work, and I have managed my time well enough to keep from getting sick.  I need to help my son transition to college this Spring, and I also need to spend some time working on my home.  I want to be ready to sell it, should the Lord move that way come May (when our lender will want out of our contract).  I will need to do these things -- paint, make repairs, etc.  Some will need to be done professionally, but some I can do myself.  I will do as much as I can, and then leave the rest to the Lord.

I will also continue to look for more work after Christmas.  I have several applications submitted, but no responses yet.  I am sure something will come to pass when the Lord's timing is right.  Until then, I rest in the security and knowledge that He is God, and that He has everything in order, and under control.

As I think about resting in the Lord, this thought comes to mind.  I am tired.  I am so tired of struggling to hold it all together.  I am tired of fighting against adversaries and enemies, and I am tired of standing up and swinging His Sword.  I must endure, I must go on -- but I am battle-weary and battle-worn.  Therefore, I need to rest (emotionally) in the Lord, knowing full well that He is able to provide what I need, when I need it.  Emotional anxiety takes its toll on me most quickly, and I am weakest when I become burdened with emotional cares.  I cast them on the Lord, but I must leave them there.  I must lay my head upon His breast -- as the beloved disciple did -- and lean into Him, believing that He will care for me, and in turn, His Grace will supply all my needs.

Resting in the Lord, trusting in Him, and leaning upon Him -- these are all aspects of FAITH.  Believing that He is God, that He is able to supply all our needs, and that He is true to His word, this is what it means to "believe on the Lord Jesus Christ, and you shall be saved" (Acts 16:31).  I believe Lord, and I lean into you this day.  Amen, so be it, thy will be done. Selah (pause and calmly think about that!)

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