Today, I applied for another local position, this time with a more humble approach. A friend of mine suggested that I try and downplay my extensive skills, and instead, just feature very general abilities that would show I am a good solid candidate. I took his advice, so we will see if this company likes the slimmed down version of my resume. This job is in my current field, IT/Web, and would be very easy for me to do. I am probably over qualified again, but now I need A JOB so I am willing to do more entry level work (for example, they want 2-4 years of experience, and I have 10 plus.)
I also revisited my school plans and I am convinced that I am on the right track, working towards the degree of the Lord's choosing. I may not understand it at all, but I am trusting that He knows what is best, and that I have understood what He desires for me to do. I have vacillated for a time on whether or not it is better for me to study Communication over English Literature. I had come to the conclusion that the Lord desired Communication, and the job I was hoping for would have aligned perfectly with that choice. Then the job didn't pan out, and I started to second-guess what the Lord wanted from me. After a bit of crunching, and really coming down to the fact that I believe Communication is His will, I confessed my fear, and returned to what I know, or what I think I know.
Today, as I was applying online, I noticed something interesting. My job description or the description I put on my resume says "Website Designer." This is how I see myself (or saw myself), and I realized that the reason was because I came out of a Graphic Arts/Computer Operations type background. I have been trying to cross over into Marketing or Media Communications, and I have hit a wall. The more time I spent on Careerbuilder.com, the more I came to see that the job I did for so many years actually has several titles: Web Producer, Web Content Specialist, Media Specialist, IT/Web Marketing. Apparently, the "designer" tag signals to employers that I am a programmer (which I am, but not with a CS degree or anything). It might also show as a Graphics person since many Web people are also artists. So with some more time to think this through, I see now that the field I am trying to get into is really the field I am already in -- just defined a little differently.
I don't want to be a Web Content Specialist for the next ten years, but I do want to be a Copywriter or Editor or move into a more central Communications position. With a PhD in Communication, I can pursue my current field, and then broaden my studies to include New Media and Technology (which is the concentration I want to study). I didn't see the connection before, and felt that unless I had a title that said "Communications Specialist," I wouldn't be considered for any position within the concentration. Now, I understand that there is a way for me to pursue what I think the Lord wants from me (for ministry), and use my existing Web skill as a springboard. I have to be willing to do this work, and up until now, I didn't want to do it.
My previous experience, especially being self-employed was not the best; and, the last thing I wanted to do was work for another company doing practically the same type of work. It was too close to home, so to speak, and I put up fences saying that I didn't want to do it. Since I started looking for work back in 2009, the Lord has consistently showed me technology positions to consider. I said, "No, thanks!" I wonder now why it has taken me so long to find a suitable job. Perhaps it was my unwillingness to do the work the Lord had in mind for me? There is a lot of old baggage attached to my previous work, some very hard feelings, and a general sense of "I am burned out." God has been trying to use my skills to find me work, and I have not been willing to go where He wanted me to go. Some jobs I have applied for, but didn't receive consideration included:
- Website Content Specialist
- Server Administrator
- Sr. Web Copy Writer
I understand now that the delay in finding suitable work has been partly due to my own unwillingness to do the work you have chosen for me to do. I wasn't interested in doing Web work, and as a result, I have not found any work at all. I am grateful for Macy's, and I believe that you provided this job to me so that I would have some distraction and small income. Now, I feel ready to work full-time, and I am still balking at doing the kind of work I am experienced and skilled to do. Please forgive me, Lord, for not allowing you to provide the work of your choosing to me. I ask now that you show me or lead me to a job that would be suitable for me (experience and skillwise), and that suits you and your ministry needs. Thank you, Jesus. I promise you that I will do the work you provide to me, and that I will trust you for your provision of it, and for your timing on hearing or receiving confirmation. Amen, so be it, thy will be done.