January 27, 2011

Looking Forward

It's been an interesting day so far.  I woke up later than usual, and was somewhat of a grump.  I didn't sleep well, had a lot of dreams (weird ones), and generally didn't feel like I got enough sleep, even with nine full hours.  I got moving with my cup of coffee, and a couple chocolate donuts, and then sat down at my computer to check email.  My monitor was all wonky -- with the screen shifted to the right, and everything hanging off the edge.  I was able to get it to reset, and so far it seems fine.  However, it is just another reminder of my computer failing on me (I cannot turn the power off because the button will not start it again).  I don't want to purchase a new computer yet.  I have been wanting to switch from a PC to a Mac for a long while now.  I need a large monitor/computer to counteract my eyesight issues (decreased vision in one eye, increased fibrous floaters, and the possibility of Macular Degeneration -- both my Mother and Aunt have it).  The 27" IMAC would be a good choice for me, but it costs $1699 at the minimum.  I may have to purchase a new monitor in the mean time, but what if my computer fails too?  Oh, the thought is too much for me.

I must have had three separate dreams, all of them disturbing to me.  The first was with me as central character.  I was travelling through the upper western US, Utah mainly, and I was lost.  I stopped at a gas station for gas where I met a young couple with a baby.  I asked to use their map, but instead they asked me to get in their car.  I drove with them a while until I realized that I was going the wrong way (well, out of my way).  I asked to be let off, and I woke up.  Weirdsville, eh? 

The second dream found me at a summer camp with my family.  I was there with my parents and siblings, and we were packing to leave.  I just remember feeling as though I was left behind or going to be left behind.  My Mother told me to go and take my things and get them packed, but I couldn't find where our luggage was stored.  I walked into someone elses room, only to find their things and not mine.  I walked back out of the room and woke up again.

The last dream found me and my son at one of the first apartments I lived in with my DH.  It was in Campbell, CA.  I liked that place, it was nice, and it was in such a good location (a 4-plex about 5 minutes from where I worked).  I was making dinner, and there were some strange people looking inside the back window.  When I looked at them, I saw a man and he was staring at me.  He then pointed up, like to say they were looking at the flat above me (there was none).  I walked back to the oven to resume what I was doing.  I then woke up again.  By the way, I didn't recognize that man.  He was about my age with light brown hair and a mustache.  He had a nice face but wasn't familiar to me.  He had jeans and a blue tee shirt on, very casual attire, and he just was looking into my back window.

So were my dreams were significant?  Hmmm, perhaps.   At the least, it is fun to think that way.  I tend to do this, dream in cycles and in repetition.  I dream in three's, for whatever that is worth, and I can always recall them with great detail.  In guessing what they might mean (and with my expertise in dream interpretation -- yah, right! LOL!), I would suggest the following themes:
  • Being lost is always a clue that you are on the wrong path, seeking the wrong path or heading in the wrong direction (spiritually speaking)
  • Seeking direction from a person or a road map means that subconciously you are trying to find the answer to some problem or situation
  • Fearing being left behind is just fear, being afraid that you will be stuck or lost and not be able to find your way out
  • Seeing people looking at you or trying to communicate with you reminds you that other people often are used by God to help you find direction or find answers.  In my case, the man was pointing upwards, almost to say "Look Up" or "Go Up".  I think his face was there to show me visually that I need to always be looking up towards God, to remember that no matter how confused I may feel, God is always my answer, the source of all direction and guidance.
Well, there you have it -- my attempt at analyzing my own dreams (LOL!)  I probably did a pretty good job of it because I am so used to having images like these at night.  They always are little vingettes, stories really that start and stop in the middle of a sequence.  I think for me the truth comes down to the following:
  • I am on a journey, moving forward, but at times I may feel a little bit lost.  My roadmap is my Bible, and my Guide is the Lord Jesus Christ.  When I feel uncertain or as if I took a wrong turn, I simply need to look to Him for clarification and He will help me understand my life or the events within my life.  I don't need to panic or be afraid, I just need to ASK.
Dear Lord,

Help me today to understand if I am lost or on the wrong path, and if so, how to turn myself around and get back to where you want me to be.  I trust you and I look to your Word for guidance this day.  Amen, so be it, thy will be done.

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