I have also made up my mind, I think, not to pursue teaching as a career. I had considered teaching because it seemed like the logical next step. With a Masters in English, I could teach college courses. With a Ph.D, I could get a job at a University somewhere. The issue, I guess, is that while I like teaching, I really do not want to be up in front of a class each day. I am much more of a scholar -- I like to read and study and then think about what I have just read and studied. I then love to write about my thoughts on the reading. I don't really want to teach others.
Moreover, I think I have decided that going to Regent for my PhD is really the Lord's choosing. A long time ago, last summer for certain, the Lord placed Regent on my heart and mind. They have a PhD in Communication Theory that is directly aligned with His will for my life. Back then, it all made sense to me. I knew what I needed to do, and I was focused on the path (complete Mercy, go to Regent). There was no other option for me because the Lord had chosen this one path.
I asked the Lord if I could consider teaching, well rather -- I was heartset on teaching. I had thought about being a teacher for over 20 years, and now that I had the opportunity to do it, I didn't want to give that up. The problem, of course, was that I was never really called to be a teacher back then, and I am not called to be one now. In all the years of ministry, I have never been a teacher. I don't enjoy teaching Sunday School, I don't enjoy teaching AWANA. What I like best is to be in administration, to be a director over other people. I love directing people, I love encouraging people, and I love motivating people to do great things for the Lord. I am more about enabling and empowering than I am about distilling information. Even when I have been in the classroom, I don't teach. I talk with each child, personally, and I spend time with the other teachers -- listening, helping, and encouraging them. I let other people do the actual teaching, and I observe. Then I encourage, appreciate and affirm. This is what God has called me to do, and it is the Holy Spirit's gifting in my life. He has chosen for me to be a people-person, and I love being with people.
Even at Macy's, I find myself drawn to people and their stories. I have co-workers who say to me, "Carol, can I tell you something?" I listen. They ask my advice, and I try and share some nugget of wisdom with them. I mostly just encourage them to remain faithful, to hang in there, to not give up. This is my role in the church as well -- I am to edify and build it up. I do this by meeting people, getting to know them, and then just loving them with Christ's love and with His Mercy. I like doing this -- it is natural to me. It sort of oozes out of me, and requires no effort at all.
I also am good at administrating programs. I like the details, and I like to be responsible for doing a good work. I am not perfect, and I often lose sight of things. I forget. I make a lot of mistakes, but I do my best, work hard, and trust God to fill in the gaps. It always seems to work for me, and I am always being recruited to be in charge of this or that program. I guess other people can see my leadership skill too. God is Good that way.
My work has been in administration. Although I have tried to pass myself off as a website designer, this is not true. I did design sites, for sure; but I also administrated them (oversaw their development, managed the details, and provided consistent access and expectation for my clients). As a Contracts Administrator, I oversaw the management of support contracts. As an MIS Administrator, I managed the extensive tape library. As Office Administrator, I managed the office and all the paperwork (contracts, receivables, etc.). And, as a Technical Administrator, I managed over 10,000 Engineering drawings. I like to manage things, and my work has been in management of resources, not people.
This helps me to understand what I do best, and why I enjoy working with things over people. I love people (as stated before), but for my daily grind (work), I have always liked being the "go to" person when it came to resource management.
As I am more concentrated on finding work, I realize that I am good at many things. I love to write, but I cannot get work as a writer because I don't have that experience. I can design websites, and while I have a lot of experience in this industry, I don't have specific experience (certain software or technical know-how). I can administrate, and that is where I think I need to focus on work. I can manage contracts, but some companies want certification (which I don't have). I can manage people too, but I have only supervisory experience, and not a lot of it.
Therefore, with all this in mind, this is my new plan for seeking work. First off, I am trusting the Lord to provide the right job for me. Secondly, I am committed to following graduate school through, and now understand that what I am studying is for ministry and not for work (job). Thirdly, I will do the work that I am best at doing, which is being an administrator over resources. In time, I may get the opportunity to manage people (the Lord's will), but for now, I will be content to just administrate contracts, equipment or other critical resources for a company or institution (college or University).
- Refine my resume to focus on administrative skill
- Search for jobs that match my skill more closely
- Trust in the Lord to provide a job for me (always -- Trust the Lord)
- Commit myself to finding work before the end of summer 2011