August 31, 2011

It's Been a Long Dry Summer

I have been really busy this end of summer. I have barely had time to keep my blog updated -- and this from a person who almost always blogs daily. My work has taken all my time, and I have been so tired that I really don't get to do much after I get home at night. I am blessed beyond measure, and I give a BIG SHOUT OUT TO THE LORD for His Gracious Mercy. He has been so kind and good to me, and I am blessed, blessed, blessed by His Love for me. I am treasuring my days, and praising Him for my nights. God has worked miracles in my life, and I stand in awe of Him.

Some praises:
  • It will be six weeks this Friday since I started my new job at the University of Phoenix. My job is as an Online Enrollment Advisor for the Northestern Region. I enroll students in Healthcare and Nursing, and for the most part, I really do enjoy it. The work is hard, and my mind is tired at the end of the day, but I am getting used to this kind of work. I am also getting used to my schedule of working 6-3 each day. I may switch to 7-4 (tomorrow I am testing it out), just to sync my sleep/wake habits better.
  • My home is still my home -- as of today. Our note holder is still waiting for money, but for now, we are staying put and trying to see if we can refinance our mortgage. If we cannot, then we will sell our home, and move. Right now, God has brought my gardener back to me, and he has trimmed my shrubs and whacked all the weeds. The house looks really good from the street. I am thanking God for this blessed provision of a hard worker!
  • I am getting back into cello after about a month off. This is the longest break I have taken from practicing, and I am really rusty. My thumb was injured at Macy's, and it was so painful to bow. Now, it feels good again, and I am confident that I will get back up to speed quickly.
  • I am waiting to get my grades for my summer courses. Unfortunately, I had to borrow some money to cover the cost, and my fees are not paid yet. My grades are on hold -- but hopefully they will be released in the next couple days. I am all set to attend Regent University next summer, and I am working on getting all my papers in on time. God is providing such blessing as far as my school goes, and I know He has everything under control for me. This is His will, and His doing -- I am simply going along for the ride! PTL for He is so very Good to me!!
  • My son is doing well in school (again), and is now considering a degree at UOPX. This would be a huge savings for me, so Praise God for this turn of events!
  • There is so much more, but my fingers are tired now, so I am off to bed.
God is good all the time, and all the time God is Good. I am thanking Him and giving Him all the Praise for what He has done in my life. You are God, and God alone -- and I worship and praise your mighty and precious Name!

August 20, 2011

Changes and Options

It is hard to believe that it is August 20th today. It has been a very long couple weeks, and I am tired, but very happy with my new job. The job itself is not a perfect fit for me, but I like my group/team, and I like the paycheck and company benefits. I realize that I will not be an Enrollment Advisor for ever, just because you really have to like calling students on the phone (which I do not). I am so much more of an academic person, and I love talking with students, mentoring them, helping them, etc. but not really into the 'soft sell' aspect of education.

God has provided me with probably the best group, manager, and team available (at the least, that is what everyone tells me), and I am beginning to agree! I am so amazingly blessed, and I know that this is ALL of His Marvelous Hand. God is so very good to me.

Some new things are on the horizon, which is kind of exciting and scary -- at the same time. I found out yesterday that our trust deed is a standard document, and that our note holders cannot forcibly evict us like if we were renters. They have to foreclose on us, go through the court system, and follow the rule of law. This means that while we are 'supposed' to pay off our note in two weeks, we do not have to continue to make payments to them beyond that date. They can foreclose, but that would give us 3-6 months before we would legally have to be out of our home. There is nothing they can do to us, and if they threaten us, or continue to show up at our house to harrass us, then we can slap an injunction on them.

I am relieved to know that there are some options available to us. We can negotiate to give this house back to them or let them foreclose on us. I didn't want to do the latter because of my credit rating, but now I am considering it simply to give me time to find another place. God will do what God will do, and I am resting in His Sovereignty.

I am also working with a realtor to find another place to live. I would like to find a home close to my current location, and I am trying my best to find something quickly. I am confident that the Lord will provide a good home to me soon.

My son has expressed an interest in changing his college goal from music/ministry to computer programming. I am happy for his change of mind because he is really, really good at programming. I think he could be financially well-set, so I am very pleased. Also, this is a degree that he could complete through the UOPX, and since we get family discounts, this would mean he could go there for little out of pocket expense (PTL!) He has to make up his mind, though, and I know he will in time. Right now, he needs to get his head in gear and start thinking about school beginning on Monday. He needs to get in the game, and keep his grades up to be able to do this kind of work. I know he can do it, but he is being pulled in other directions right now. I am praying for the Grace of God to settle him in this decision, and for God's will to be done.

Lastly, I have decided that among everything else on my plate right now, I will need to buy another car by the year's end. I have to get an automatic car with better highway comfort. My little car is great on gas, but it blows all over the freeway, and I need something a little bit heavier to keep me grounded. Plus my son needs a car, and my little KIA would be perfect for his needs. God knows what is best, so I am trusting Him to provide everything we need today. Amen, so be it, thy will be done!

August 12, 2011

Wrap Up

Well, I am finished officially with my training and assessments at the University of Phoenix. It has been three very long and hard weeks of study, and I am happy to report that I passed all my certification exams! I also got to meet my new manager, and I found out a bit more about my new job (location, team members, etc.). I am very excited to start working with students, and to finally get to setup my desk. I may need to do some shopping before Monday, just to pick up some fun things for my cubby. I can add a plant, and decorate the inside of my space the way I like it. I am blessed, so very blessed. God is so very good to me.

On other fronts (can there be more than one front -- I guess so -- I remember my WWII history!!), I am waiting to find out what the Lord has in mind for my home. As of today, I know the following:
  • I am gainfully employed, having received my very first real FT paycheck (it's been 20 years) today
  • I have the schedule of His choosing, M-F from 6-3
  • I am in the region and product of His choosing as well -- Northeast and Healthcare/Nursing
  • I am ready to embark on my new career, and I am excited to be on my way finally to new places, new opportunities, and new ways of learning
  • I am content to wait for the Lord to bring me everything I need to move forward
  • I know that His will is done, and that my life is following His plan as He has perfected it
  • I am so good, and I love that He is Good -- together everything is GOOD!
There are still some pretty big unknowns right now, but generally, they are items that I cannot control anyway. I am content to let things be, to let God do what God wants to do, and to rest in His provision and care. I know EVERYTHING WILL WORK OUT FOR MY GOOD, AND HIS WILL, AND HIS GOOD PLEASURE. I am happy, I am blessed, and I am so very, very, very content.

Dear Lord,

I am resting in your care, and trusting in your Name. I know you will lead me through the coming weeks, and you will change my life to suit your plans and your will. I am content for this to be, so I let it go right now. I let go of everything, and I lay back in your arms of strength, and I rejoice in the knowledge that You are God alone. May your Name be praised forever more! Amen, so be it, thy will be done! God is so very Good to me! Praise be to God.

August 6, 2011

Praying for Rain

I finished Week Two of my training at the University of Phoenix. I passed my examination (97% whoohoo!), and I am now set to begin my Week Three training in Products (Programs). These past two weeks have been incredibly difficult on me. Firstly, there is just so much new information to learn, and secondly, I am in the process of wrapping up my summer school through Mercy College. My brain is over-stuffed with compliance, policy, ADA, FERPA, and all those wonderful acronyms used in college and universities! The good news is that I am more confident that I can do my job well. I don't know everything, but I am far more comfortable with the procedures and the overall flow -- process through the computer systems and such.

Last night, as I was driving home, I was so glad to be done with my training for the week. I knew that I had to get home quickly, eat dinner, and then work on finishing up my major paper for my Medieval Literature course. My paper was due yesterday evening. I have not submitted it -- I am in the process of doing that today. My Professor is pretty good about accepting a late paper, so my hope is that he will be kind to me this time around. I have had so much on my plate this summer -- finishing my work at Macy's, starting a new job at University of Phoenix, school, life, etc. I am so close to finishing and then enjoying my three weeks off from school -- the very last thing I need now is another wrench in the gears!

Well, that wrench has been thrown into the gears of my life. I arrived home last night, bushed and beaten -- oh so weary -- and I discovered an email from our note holder (on our home). We have already received our loan documents, and we already knew we had until the 31st to come up with some plan of action (refinance, sell or pay off personally). Our note holder wants us out, and we were discussing options. The email, however, was a threat -- which is how our note holder (a private couple) like to do business. I read the email and at first was immediately inflamed over it. I mean, it is business as usual, so really I shouldn't be upset. I was angry, partly because I was tired from work, and partly because I had so much home work to finish. The email asked if we had "vacated the premises" yet. Ok, so really -- we have until the 31st to submit our papers back to them, and they want us out now! It is their way of getting what they want, and I am fed up with it.

My DH was very upset as well, but he is probably more upset at me for refusing to refinance this house. The problem which he cannot see is that I cannot qualify for refinancing now. He says he has someone with whom I could work to get a loan -- I know this will not happen. My credit score is fair, and I have no proof of income yet. My first paycheck will not be until the 12th and the second, until the 24th. I have little extra cash, and he has none. Refinancing is not the option, at the least, considering the amount of work needed on this home. No one -- no lender, government or other, will refinance us.

I spent the evening working on my paper, and I tried very hard not to think about that email. I personally do not like the people who hold our note. I have never liked them, and I have never trusted them. I feel they are the kind of people who only think about themselves, and who will resort to threats to get what they want. I have lived in fear of these people -- calling my home, showing up at my door -- for 12 years. I have had enough, and I want out.

So, I get up this morning, content to work on my paper and get it submitted early. I get a phone call from my Mom (always), and I have to rehash the whole email with her. My father is furious because he is worried we are getting shafted (well, we are, but there you go). He wants a lawyer to review the papers before we do anything at all. I did have the loan papers reviewed -- and they were straightforward. The note holder wants to transfer the deed back to them, so in effect, they want us to walk away from the home without foreclosing. I see this as a positive thing, but my DH sees it negatively. I guess it is a glass half-empty scenario. It all depends on how you look at things.

I sit here today thinking to myself -- what in the world is happening to me? I mean, I finally have a really good job. I finally have the beginnings of a new life. My DH is stuck, for certain, because he is not making enough money to live on his own, pay his car payment or do anything else. He is wholly dependent on me. I am the only one with credit, and I am the one with a good paying job. I guess this means that I can call the shots. However, I am not really calling the shots at all. I am trusting the Lord, believing in faith that He will provide another home for us to live in. I know God is sufficient, and He can meet all my needs.

Last evening, after I calmed down some, the Lord showed me a very nice home for rent. It is close to PVCC (church) and PVCC (college), and my parents. It is also close to the 51 (highway) so my commute to work is only 5-minutes longer. The rent is high, but the deposit is less than in some other homes. They will also accept cats, and I have two, so that is a very big deal. The house is large enough to accomodate us all, and it is in very nice condition (as if that really matters right now -- well, it does -- but in the light of eternity, a house is just a house). I am ready to go, so ready to leave my old life, and I am tired, so very tired of all the hassles, the upsets, and the tension. I crave peace, and I need peace now.

My DH is not happy with me, as I said before. I cannot continue to do things his way, and he knows it. I am walking my own way, and I am going in my own direction. That direction is away from him, and is soley focused on the Lord. I trust God, and right now, He is my LIFELINE. There is no one else who will help me, no one else who has my "back," and no one else standing in the gap for me. I am alone, yet I am fully ensconced in His presence, and I am safe. I know this, and I am assured that He will never leave me nor will He forsake me. I am safe, and while the waters are testy and turbulent now, I see calm seas ahead of me. I have to ride this storm out and then everything will be good. I can see it over there, on the horizon, and I know everything will be OK.

Dear Lord,

I am praying for rain just like Elijah did in the OT. Elijah prayed that it wouldn't rain and it didn't. He prayed for rain, and the heavens opened, and it rained and rained and rained. My life is ready to be well-watered, and I need your precious rain to flood over my soul. Help me now, Lord. Help me navigate these dicey and choppy waters. Give me clear sailing so I can find calm seas. I know you are my Guide and my Help, so I pray now that you will lead me safely through this turmoil and into the blessing and peace of your very Presence. I ask this now in Jesus Name! Amen, so be it, thy will be done! Selah!!

August 4, 2011

Week 2 is Done

I made it through week two of my training program at the University of Phoenix. Tomorrow, I will take my assessment exam (hoping to pass with 80%), and then will begin Product Training next week. I am a bit undone about the whole process, as I have found it a struggle to learn using their Adult Learning Module. I am a non-traditional student, but I have only experience in traditional school environments. I find it very hard to learn collaboratively, and I prefer to learn independently and soley through my own processes. I simply do not learn well within a group environment. I realize that group learning is the model for the 21st century, but I believe that people learn differently, and as such, not everyone learns best this way. Oh well...not much I can do about it other than let this be and trust the Lord that this will not hinder me at all.

One thing that has become clear to me is that I prefer a certain type of learning environment, and this makes it pretty clear to me that I prefer traditional formats. Therefore, although I would get a great discount on education at UOPX, I believe that I would do better at Regent University. I know that Regent's PhD program is the one the Lord has had in mind for me since the beginning of this whole process, so I am now more committed to completing this program once I graduate from Mercy next Spring.

I am letting this all be now, and I am trusting the Lord to guide me through the last week of training and on into my new job. I know that this is the Lord's will, and that His will is perfect. I am leaning on Him and I am relying on Him for His Provision and Grace. God is so very Good to me!