I had the nicest surprise happen to me on Wednesday of this week. My Director stopped by my desk to ask me if I would come to the Managers meeting (held weekly or maybe monthly -- not sure). Our Corporate Development group was presenting, and they wanted me to come and give testimony to my participation in a recent opened client account. I said "sure," not really thinking that it would be any big deal, but boy, was I surprised. Not only were all the managers there, but my Director and Sr. Director were as well. I was given a round of applause and everyone congratulated me. I didn't expect it, and it did feel kinda weird getting the recognition.
Since then, I have had some other managers come up to me and tell how well they think of me, etc. Praise generally doesn't sit well with me. I really don't like being in the limelight. I would much prefer to work behind the scenes, so I tend to deflect it off onto other people. Of course, all the praise belongs to God, and I thanked Him profusely (in my heart) all the while the meeting was in progress.
Afterwards, the Lord and I had a discussion -- really a heart to heart chat about what I should do for my work/career progression. I have been given some advice from my peers, several of them, who tell me that "big things" are in the works, that I need to hang in there, wait this out, etc. They have been around a while, and they recognized that my invitation to this meeting was a big deal. Again, being clueless -- which is a normal state for me (rarely am I that observant, and I generally disregard any fanfare) -- the whole matter just slipped by me. The Lord knows me well, and He also knows that this is of His doing. Therefore, any praise and recognition needs to go to Him. I understand this, and I want to make sure to honor Him always. It has just been that lately I have had the feeling that there was no place for me to go at my job. I felt that I was stuck, and the thought of having to do my work day in/day out for who knows how many more months or even years, was just too much for me to consider. I wanted out, I asked, I prayed -- I wanted a different job.
The Lord is gracious to me, and He knows that I am not complaining just to complain. The work is stressful, and it is taking its toll on me physically and mentally. The problem is that I doubt if I could find another job that I really liked and could do, kwim? I am almost 50, and thankful for the work I have right now. I need to make more money, but that is a given. I cannot plan for retirement on the little I have left over each month. I have to buy a second car, add a driver (my son), and so on. I need a wee bit more so I can save, put away, and add these new expenses to my life.
The Lord knows this, and He knows what I can and cannot do. I want to please Him, and I want to offer all my work to Him. And, in everything, I want to give Him thanks!
As I consider my path, I am once again thinking of what is easiest, what seems best, and what will bring me peace. I struggle so with finding and keeping peace -- I have it, it is mine through Jesus Christ -- but I often make choices or consider ways that take me out of the blessedness of His Rest. I know better, I know better -- yet I still do it some times. Today, I am at the point where I feel that I must let go and follow the path of least resistence. I must flow with the river of God's will, and I must rest in the security of My God. I know that this may mean doing things differently or taking chances or even accepting offers that might push me (test me, try me), but I am confident to know that nothing is too high for God. Nothing is impossible for Him to do, and He is firmly in control of my life.
My God is GREAT and His WORD is TRUTH. I trust Him today, I let go, and choose to follow the mighty river of His Blessed Will.