April 15, 2012

Stressed Out Today

It is 11:30 and I am stressed out. My music teacher is having a recital next week, and we (me and my son) are heading over to her house for practice in about 45 minutes. I found out yesterday, that my son cannot be in the recital next Sunday. He told me that the show at the CC in which he is the sound designer has two matinees on Sunday (today and next week at 2). This means that there is no way he can perform as part of our chamber group, and unfortunately, he is the accompianist/performer, so without him, we cannot really perform the pieces we have been practicing for the past couple months.

I am so upset at him for not checking the calendar, and for telling our teacher that he could do this recital. I am disappointed in his lack of follow through, but I do understand that he is overwhelmed right now. He has a lot on his plate, and truthfully, he cannot do everything required for school and still do outside activities. This was poor planning on his part, and I am upset that we are one week away and that he has to tell our teacher he cannot be there next week.

I don't need this stress today. I don't need this stress this week, and I certainly do not need this stress this month. I am about to graduate from college, and I have so much work to do. My job at UOPX is stressful. My life right now with school is stressful, and I just don't have the time to do anything else that brings stress into my life.

I don't want to quit any of these things, but I am at the breaking point, and I cannot continue to do everything and expect to remain well. I am not well, this is true. I am hanging in there, taking each day, but I am exhausted and I am overwhelmed with everything I have to do for work.

I need a break. I need to rest. I need to let go, and every day, I pray to do that very thing. Yet, I cannot seem to break free from this relentless pace. I want to stay home, I want to do work from home, and I want to be free.

How do I do this, and still live? I don't know, I just don't know. I do believe in God, and my faith is firmly in Him and His wisdom. I know He will see me through this, and I know everything will work out in the end. God is bigger than this issue. God is able to handle it, and take care of it. I know this about my God. He is so very Good to me.

No comments: