May 10, 2012

Can I Really Do This?

Can I really let go of what is holding me back? Can I do this today?

Letting go is hard for me to do. I have said I am ready to let go, but I am not. I know this, otherwise, I wouldn't be in the position I am in today (exactly the same position I was in three weeks ago). Nothing has differed in any way. I am still putting off the inevitable, and I am blaming myself for my lack of discipline, my unwillingness to do the hard thing (and "just do it.")

At work my manager played a video clip of a motivational speaker who's whole message was summed up in this phrase: "Just do it."

No matter what is holding you back, no matter how difficult or how trying the task may be -- if we just do it -- it will get done.

noun: the act or habit of procrastinating,  or putting off or delaying, especially something requiring immediate attention

I am a procrastinator, no....I have allowed a spirit of procrastination to sideline and derail my efforts in school. I blamed the lack of interest on my class, on my hectic schedule, and on my crazy Spring (and everything I went through from January-March). The truth is that I allowed this spirit to gain a foothold and I have not been able to shake it off. Whenever I start to think I will do something about it, I become tired, I think of other things to do. I have allowed this to take a priority in my life, and I know what I must do.

I am ready to do the Lord's work, and I know that with that work will come hard times, difficult tasks, and challenges that will mentally and physically assault me. I know that I can do these things because it is not I who will do them, but the Lord who will accomplish His will through me. I confess now that I cannot do anything that the Lord asks of me. I can only submit to Him willingly, and let His Blessed Spirit do these things through me. I relent, I turn around, and I confess now that I am wholly devoted to the Lord, wholly devoted to doing His will, and to going His way.

I am ready now, Lord, to JUST DO WHAT YOU ASK ME TO DO.

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