I am good. I am really good. Yes, it is true that I am feeling a bit under the weather, but in general, I am very good indeed.
God is good all the time, and God brings good into our lives. He works things out so that the good we experience gives testimony of His Goodness (the character quality that He is). He causes things to work together for our good (so says Scripture), and because He is Good, we can experience that Goodness (the character quality) in every area of our life.
As I wrestle with His Goodness today -- thinking how crummy I feel right now, and wanting so much to feel better -- I realize that regardless of how I feel (or think), God is always the same. His Goodness never changes, and the good He works, is always for our blessing and benefit.
I looked back over my blog and I read a post from July 2011. This was the day before I was to start my new job at UOPX. I was giving God the praise, and I thanked Him for the good, practical work He was providing to me. I thanked Him for the good work He provided through Macy's as well. I thanked Him for His Provision of GOOD WORK.
Now I am looking to His provision again, but this time I am asking for a different kind of work. I want a job that is satisfying, that will challenge me, and that will keep me engaged. I am no longer thinking only of good practical work, but good satisfying work. I want a job that I can do long-term, that won't burn me out, and that I can enjoy every single day of my working life. I want a job where I can impact the lives of other people, where I can demonstrate God's love to them, where I can feel valued, and where I can function as a contributor to other people (or students) success.
Sure, my current job as Advisor offers me the opportunity to change lives -- but in such a small way. I enroll students; and, for a short time I serve to assist them, and advise them as they START their journey to success. After their first course, they are handed off to Academics, and then I am only able to call to ask them how they are doing, if they have any problems or concerns. This is not the kind of life changing impact I want to have on a student. I want to see them grow, see them develop, and see them change. I don't get to do that because my students live far away from me, and they only know my voice (not my face, not me personally). I want that personal time that comes with walking the long road, joining the journey, and helping to carry the load. This is Biblical and this is the kind of relationship I want to have with those I mentor and I help.
I've given teaching a long hard look, and I understand now, that there is no other discipline where I can affect change and then participate in the outcome of that change. I understand that I have the opportunity to participate in the learning adventure, and that I can do this with my whole being, not just my voice, not just my "talk time." I am ready to start this adventure, but I need some employer to look favorably on me, to give me a chance.
I was in this exact same position last year, looking for a chance to prove myself, to demonstrate my abilities. I got that chance with the UOPX, and I have made the most of it. I have worked very hard there, made a name and a good reputation, and now I am ready to move on. I am ready to let it go, to walk away, and to embrace the future job that the Lord has lined up for me. I am ready to trust God to provide -- again. I am ready to wait for His provision and to then give Him thanks for it. I thank Him now for the opportunity to do good work, to be faithful and loyal. I thank Him for the time to complete my education, and for the blessing of graduate school. I thank Him for the open door that waits for me to walk through so I can do the next job -- to be a teacher -- to train up young and old minds, and to impact these students in ways that will enhance their journey, develop their skills, and open doors for them. I am ready to go. I am ready, and I am willing to go now.