I went into work today, hopeful that it would be a good day. Instead, it was just like yesterday -- difficult and boring. I don't mean to sound ungrateful for this job, considering the fact that I was without work for so long (almost 18 months). I feel as though there is nothing I can do correctly in this position. My team and my supervisor are nice, and I like working with them -- the downside is that I am so bored all the time. Today was a double-whammy in that we had our weekly meeting and the rubber hit the road on how to be "productive" in our day. Basically this means that if we are not on the phone talking with students, we need to be prospecting in our databases. My lead base has over 3800 names, and most of these are old dead leads. I work my uncontacted leads every single day, and short of calling the same people day in and day out, I have run out of names to call.
The bottom line is that unless I make 100 dials each day, I don't look like I am working. If you are not working in this way, then you are susceptible for "coaching" to help you do a better job. My problem is that I am so tired of the job. I cannot do anything more than what I have done previously, and because I am not keeping my numbers up, I am worried about losing my job there. Now, I want a different job, but until I get that opportunity, I have to remain and wait (per the Lord's command). I am waiting Lord, I am waiting -- please release me to go to another job -- another kind of work where I will be more challenged, but also have more freedom in my day to do what I need to do.
I came home early, just in time for a rain storm (unusual for this time of the year), but a very nice refresher. I am sitting here now enjoying the grey skies and wearing my slippers and comfy sweater. I am so tired of this whole process, and I want -- no, I need to rest. I need to rest. I am so very sleepy and so very tired. I need your help Lord. Please help me today -- help me to know and understand what I must do so I can graduate and then give me the grace to do it. I need to get a teaching job, and I need my Masters degree to do it. Please Lord, please help me today!