This entire week has been challenging for me. After last week's post about making the decision to return to web design and development work, some changes have taken place in my life and at my current place of work.
First off, I have been contacted by another recruiter about my resume. I spoke with this person on the phone, and while the job sounded great, it turned out already to be taken (close to hiring someone else). I am OK with this because I feel like I need a little more time to get my knowledge base up to snuff. My skills are a little weak, but with practice, it will not take long for me to get back to being an expert at both Photoshop CS and Dreamweaver CS.
Second, I was able to download free trials of both software applications and I started playing with them last weekend. I realized after a couple hours that I don't need to complete the certificate program at UOPX, and that I can learn everything I need to learn from online sources.
Fourth, I found out on Friday that my new boss is leaving the company (well left -- that is how they do it at UOPX). He took a job across the country (good for him and his family), and is gone (packed and out the door). I won't be getting a new manager right away, but my team (11 people) will be split between the remaining two healthcare teams. This leads to a whole lot of speculation, and without going to far into it, I would just say that I am hesitant to remain confident that I will have a job for much longer. I know that is a major leap but there are a number of red flags, and in our group (which is the smallest of all enrollment), it doesn't look that good --> longterm.
I spent most of yesterday trying to stay focused, but it was difficult. I ended up calling out for Chamber, and chose instead to work the extra time so that my 40 hours was clocked correctly on my timesheet. Next week will be interesting to see, so until then, I am going to continue to work on my plan to reinvent myself as website designer/developer, poised and ready for work in this new era of mobile devices and tablets.
Last, while all this was going on, I came to the conclusion that I miss my husband and I miss the work relationship we shared for nearly 20 years. There are many things that I don't miss, of course, but I do miss work with him, and having him around the house. In this revelation, well not really new, it became clear to me that while I do not miss marriage per se, I do miss the companionship we had and I miss the way we worked together. I missed my life --> all of it --> homeschooling our son, going places on vacation, and working together to create a life. It wasn't great, but it was my life, and I do miss parts of it.
With this revelation, I have realized that as a person I understand why God created us to live in fellowship with one another, and why the Lord reminds us to "be unified in spirit." We are called to live in community, and to love the church (our immediate family, our church family, and the greater Body of Christ). We are then called to reach out to the world, to demonstrate the love we have for one another to them, so that they may see that we are different and desire to be a part of our family.
I have lived in isolation for so many years, and while some of this is due to my personality, which is introverted and quiet, I still need to be with other people. I think this is why I have enjoyed working at UOPX and being with other people. It has taken a while for me to learn how to get along with others, how to work with noise and such, but I have learned how to do it. I like being with other people, and I know now that working on my own, which is the best thing for me, still requires that I work with a small group of people each day. I cannot be alone all the time, and I need to be with people --> it is part of God's plan for me.
I look forward to the future, and to realizing all that God has in mind for me to do. I am ready to move forward, and I am ready to walk out of UOPX. The funny thing (as in curious) is that the Lord asked me to let go of UOPX about three weeks ago. He asked me to let go, and I thought He meant the "job tasks." I did that, but I never expected that a door would be slamming shut on me -- and that I would be moving out of the company so quickly. Now I think that this is God's way of telling me that I am to go, to move out, and to not look back. I think of Lot's wife who looked back towards her home in Sodom, and was turned into a pillar of salt. I am reminded to not look back, to look forward, and to walk on. I am to follow the Lord wherever He leads me, and right now, it looks like He is leading me about of UOPX and into a new life and career as a Website Designer/Developer.
I am pleased, really pleased. I am a little worried about the transition, but after yesterday, see now that it will be much easier for me to leave since my boss already dropped the B-shell on us with his move to another company. I can walk away, keep my friends there, because they will all understand. I am not leaving due to the job, but rather, I am leaving because I need steady work, and a new path. They will understand, and while I am sure they will feel sad that I am going (me too), it will not be me jumping ship and leaving them behind.
My God is so very good to me. He knows how hard it is for me to form friendships and how hard it is for me to let go (my loyalty) of what I do care for and attach myself to. Yet, I have to move on, and the Lord has made it possible for me to do that today. I am excited to see the changes He has in mind over the next couple weeks. I look forward to working in a new place, and then someday working from home again. I don't know where we are to go, where we will end up --> I just know that God is Good all the time, and that the plans He has for me are so very good!