July 29, 2012

Setting Up Stones

It was a really good message today. The lovely Gina Pollard, our Seminary intern, preached an awesome message reminding us just how much God loves and protects us. In her message, taken from the story of the life of Jacob, she talked about fear and how often we allow it to consume our lives. We are all afraid of something or someone, and often that fear keeps us from moving forward. We like what we know, even if it is not the best thing for us, and we choose to remain still instead of walking on as God is calling us to do.

Her message today hit home for me because I am in the midst of this very same predicament. I am standing still when God has clearly told me to get going. I am afraid of leaving the comfort of a paying job for the unknown of being self-employed. My previous experience in self-employment was not a positive one, and I do not want to repeat that same experience again. I know that this will not be because I am different, I am on a different path -- still those nagging fears are consuming my energy, and they are keeping me from trusting God.

In honor of her message today, I am setting up a pillar of stones (figuratively on this blog) to give testimony to the faithfulness of my God. My blog is a testimony in and of itself, for it chronicles the past seven years of my life. Though there are high points and low points journalled, generally speaking, the darkness of the valley is most significantly documented during 2009-2011. This was when my life as I knew it crashed down on me, and when I began to rely upon God for the provision and protection of my life. God carried me through some pretty bleak times, and He gave me hope to continue on, to trust Him, and to learn how to rely upon Him. I am now on the backside of that dark period, walking in the light of hope, and I know that I am moving in the direction of His choosing. Life is good for me now, and I am at peace and contented with where I am and where I am going.

I know that I am not at my destination yet. No, in no way for certain, have I reached the end. I am a traveller on this path, and I know that there is a lot of my life laying up ahead of me. I walk on, I strain forward, and I keep on moving to where I believe God is calling me to go. I make mistakes, of course I do, and sometimes I misread the signs. I press on, however, and I keep on moving forward, nonetheless.

This marker (see stones above) is set to remind me that God has always been with me. In the dark times, in the happier days before the darkness settled in -- God has always cared for me. His word to me has been true, and I have been blessed. Therefore, there is no reason to even suspect that NOW God would ask me to go this road alone. He has never left me, and His word promises me that He will never leave me -- even until the end of the age.

I have allowed my fear of the unknown, of uncertainty with provision, and the unwillingness of me wanting to do certain work curtail my forward movement. God is prepared to prosper me financially -- I know this is true. He is prepared to create success for me, to establish me in my own right, and to grow me in a way that suits His needs. He has promised all this to me, yet I stand here afraid to go any further. Do I trust you, Lord? Do I believe in your Word to me?

Yes, I do. I do trust you, and I do believe in your word. I am ready, Lord. I am ready to step out and to get moving. May God be pleased today, and may His GREAT NAME be praised forever more. Amen!


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