August 18, 2012

Last Post on Change

Yes, this is my last post on this topic. I have had some recent opportunities come up and now I am thinking that perhaps my life is about to CHANGE in a radical new way. I am not really sure what is going on, it is just that I feel like there is a storm brewing, and I had better get ready to take cover. I don't see the storm as a bad thing, really. I see it more along the lines of coming refreshment. It is like our desert storms here in Arizona. We suffer for a long hot summer, with unending blazing furnace like heat -- waiting, hoping and wishing for the refreshing Monsoon rain. When the rain comes, the storm clouds are on the horizon, and winds begin to blow, and then BOOM down comes the rain. Our heat dissipates, and while we do get an increase in humidity levels, generally speaking, the cooler temperatures bring sweet relief. It is a win-win for us. We wait the storm out, and then enjoy the break with more pleasant weather.

In my life, I see this same thing happening. I have been suffering through a difficult job for the past six to eight months. I have weathered the ups and downs of working at University of Phoenix, and while I have been thankful for the job, the daily tasks have taken their toll on me physically and mentally. Likewise, our unrelenting heat has zapped my strength, and made it difficult to want to do anything other than stay inside and wait until the oven shuts off (around October).

At work, I have been struggling to keep my head in the game. Despite all the managerial change, the emphasis on work, producing activity, has made me scratch my head and wonder if the strategy is even effective for creating positive outcomes. I go in each day, and I do what is assigned to me. Yes, thank God, I have had some really good success recently. My numbers are up -- almost to 15 potential students for September (4 enrolled, 6 pending, and then 4-5 in process). I am sitting pretty with September. I know, however, that the crash will come, and then I will crank through October-December with low numbers, more pressure to perform, and a continued sinking feeling as though I am wasting my time and my energy on a job that is going nowhere.

I had hoped that I would have opportunity to move into Academic Affairs. I had hoped that I could move into Marketing. No movement has been possible, and the likelihood that there will be more opportunity down the road is unknown. What is known is that my job is secure for the time being. I don't think I will get fired for not making 80-100 prospecting calls a day. I may get talked to, persuaded to get into the game or consider moving elsewhere; but, I don't think they will fire me or even lay me off (not with my numbers). So the end game is this: I can stay where I am, keep a secure job, and accept the fact that I am going to remain in my role as advisor OR I can step out in faith and move to another company, to a job that aligns more with my skills and abilities. I am considering the fact that there are no certainties when it comes to job growth. I accept this, and I am understanding that to move to another company may place me the same type of scenario -- a dead end job with little prospect for future growth.

Last week, I applied to CVS Caremark for a job in Communications. It was a long-shot for me, just another resume and application submitted with the thought of "well, perhaps someone will see my resume this time?" I received a call on Wednesday to schedule a pre-screening interview. Unfortunately, the recruiter has called again -- but we cannot connect to setup a time to speak on the phone. I am thinking she is either really new or not very good at setting follow up appointments. Still, the fact that she has called twice is encouraging to me. This position would be a good fit for my skills and it would align with my goals of working within marketing communications. Will I get to interview, even be screened for an interview -- that is hard to say at this point. I am remaining hopeful, knowing and trusting that God has this covered, and that if it is His Will, then it will work in my favor.

I guess the point of this post is to say to myself (and anyone else who is reading) that I have made up my mind regarding my future. I have made the decision to look elsewhere and to stop begrudging the fact that I do have a job. All I hear at work is "be thankful you have a job right now." Well, yes, I am thankful. However, doing a grind of a job where you are exhausted and stressed is not really going to generate thankfulness, know what I mean? I am stressed, and I am to the point where it has caused me to be depressed on a daily basis. I cannot do the Lord's work, I cannot do anything besides this job. This is not how I want to live my life, to be less than I can be, and to ineffective for the Lord. I believe that my time has come to leave UOPX for good, and I am ready to pursue any other job that will provide that opportunity to me, be it sales, marketing, IT or any flavor thereof.

Dear Lord,

I rest in your provision of a job for me. I am willing to accept any job that might suit our needs for the interim period. My goal is firmly fixed on Regent University and getting my PhD. I know the tasks I need to complete, and I know I need steady work (job/income) to provide for the necessities of my life. I am asking now for a job, just a job where I can earn a decent income, but not be so stressed that I cannot serve you in ministry, care for my family, and prepare for my doctoral studies. I ask now that you will provide this job to me. The sooner the better so that I can leave UOPX and start some new line of work. I ask this now in the Power of Jesus' Name. Amen, so be it, thy will be done. Selah!

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