August 26, 2012

Letting Go of Me

Massive learning lesson today. I came to the understanding of what it means to allow Christ to live in me. I can't really explain it other than to say that sometime in the night, I had a conversation with the Lord. I asked Him if "this is" what it means when Christ is active and present in your life (fill in the 'is' with any word such as faith, trust, hope, peace, etc.) It dawned on me today, that I lack nothing because Christ RISEN AND EXALTED lives within me. Therefore, all that He is, comes to be a part of my life. It is no longer a matter for me to let Him be, but rather, it is about me surrendering myself to self-control, which allows HIM to bring all that He is to play within my life.

I guess it is probably best said this way. I struggle with TRUST, and for me, I constant find myself at odds with God when it comes to trusting Him. Yet, if Christ REIGNS and lives EXALTED within me (through the Power of the Holy Spirit), then Christ TRUSTS through me. I don't have to try to trust because, in truth, I cannot. My futile attempts at trust are based in my flesh. In the Spirit, however, there is Power, and there is the ability to trust God completely. I must let Christ TRUST for me, and then I am able to do whatever the Lord asks of me, or whatever is asked of me that requires trust. I hope that makes sense.

In a moment of enlightenment, I realized that there is nothing I lack, because Christ is my sufficiency. He is my all in all. Yes, I have always believed this was true, but I believed that it was up to me to make this happen. I believed that I had the power, the will, or even the discipline to make this happen. I failed, of course, all the time. I tried my hardest, my best, and yet I failed every single time I tried to trust or to believe something about God or about His will or way. I never considered that everything was there for me, the power, the ability, the perfectedness -- all there in the RISEN and EXALTED Christ.

Now, I am able to let go, and let Him REIGN. In doing so, I can say with the Apostle Paul that it is "not I who live, but Christ who lives in me" (Gal. 2:20). Yes, Christ lives, and I live too -- but surrendered fully to Him, and to His way. I am able to do all things through Christ who strengthen's me (Phil. 4:13).

What Does This Mean For Me?

In short, this means that all that I believe God has called me to do is possible. It is not up to me to figure out how to do it. It is not up to me to plan or purpose a way to do it. No, it is up to God to provide that way, and then for Him to lead me through the path that will accomplish His way. I can REST in His Finished Work. I can rest in the completeness of His provision. I can live wholly and fully devoted to Him, and I can let go of the fleshly responses that demand their own way. I can submit to His way, and I can know that my life will be blessed. I am safe, I am secure, and I am well-provided for -- all in His Name and through the Power of that Name.

My Next Steps

As I consider this new way of thinking, of living 100% relying upon the Lord for His Finished Work -- I am able to think now about what God is asking me to do, and how I should do the work or the tasks associated with His plan for my life. I am able to say "Yes, Adonai -- I will follow you, and I will do what you ask of me" without the fear of failing or choosing the wrong way. No, there is no wrong way, because now it is not what I want to do, but what the Lord wants to do through me. In a simple way, it is "Lord, where do you want us to go today" rather than "Lord, where do you want me to go today?"

It has always been about me doing His will. I have asked Him hundreds of times to tell me what to do. His word to me was always 'to trust, to rest, to wait, etc." Now I see that when I am following after Him, I am never to do anything on my own. I don't work, I don't go here or there. I am to do nothing unless the Lord wants or wills it to be done. And, if that is so, then it is a matter of Him going before me, and me following along.

This leads me to question some of the roles I have considered lately. I am supposed to have a job interview tomorrow at 11:00 a.m. However, the HR person never sent me any confirmation of the interview -- no location, no contact name, phone or even email. I have no confirmation that I am to go and interview for a job. I also have no sure way of contacting the HR person. I don't even have a last name for her.

I had a job interview last week for a part-time teaching position. I turned it down because I didn't think I was ready to do that work. In hindsight, the reason I turned it down was because I was still looking to a company and a paycheck to provide for me. I was placing my need for a secure job on the altar of my heart -- looking for a job so that I could leave the one I have and move into something better.

I am here today, sitting now and thinking about what God wants to do rather than what I want to do. I don't really care what kind of work I do. God has something in mind for me, and He knows me best. I know what my flesh wants: to stay at home, to do some kind of work from home. My flesh always wants to make a lot of money so that I can buy a better car, put money into savings, build my retirement. My flesh wants the paycheck auto-deposited into my checking account every two weeks -- this is what my flesh wants.

What does God want? What kind of work does the Lord require of me? He answer has always been the same: to do His work only. I am to focus on His work. I am to be about His work. I am to do nothing else but His work.

So Lord, what work do you want us to do next? What job do you plan to bring to me?

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