My last weekend before starting my new job has come to a close. I had hoped to accomplish more this weekend, but the time just seemed to get away from me. I guess I did do what was most important -- I rested a lot, and I also spent time with my family (enjoying the last days of summer). My son got to do some driving practice, and I ended up watching quite a bit of Netflix. All in all, it was a very good restful weekend.
I am a little nervous about tomorrow. I don't know what to expect, and while I am excited to be starting something new, there is that little bit of "unknown" that is causing me to worry and fret. I know I shouldn't do it, but this is "normal" for me. I am a worrier, and I fret over things I cannot control. I am getting a lot better, but I still allow nagging doubts to creep into my mind and cause me to wonder about all those "what ifs" in my life.
I am holding steady though and I feel very good about my new job. I know that God has a great plan for me, and that I can rest in His Sufficiency. I feel good about what is to be in this next year, and I am not concerned about financial matters (PTL!) If anything, I am more concerned about passing the GRE test -- I need to take this very soon -- and finishing my application to Regent University. All in God's timing, all in His time.
Today after church, my son and I had breakfast with my husband (my son's Dad). This is something we try and do each week, and it is a nice way to make sure that they (the two of them) stay connected with one another. It also helps to keep my DH informed about what his son is doing, is thinking, is planning, etc.
For example, two weeks ago, my son was set to apply to our local four year school (ASU) to study Linguistics. He told me that this was what he wanted to study, and that he was excited about graduating from the community college and transferring to finish his degree. I was on board with this decision, as was his Dad, having agree (the both of us), that it made sense for him to attend since it was in state and a good program.
Then in a conversation I had with my son, he shared with me that he didn't want to study German at ASU, but rather he wanted to study Norwegian instead. Now, this has been a passion of his for about six months, so this news wasn't shocking to me. However, in the US, there are approximately four-five schools that offer Scandinavian Studies, and only 2-3 have Norwegian as a language. One of these schools is our local denominational school, North Park University, in Chicago. It is private, and it is expensive; but they have this program including a semester study-abroad requirement.
My son told me that he didn't want to study German, and that all he wanted to study was Norwegian. I had an inkling that this was how he felt, but up until two weeks ago, he had not really come out and said that it was what he wanted to do. We talked it over, and I prayed about his desire. I am open to letting him go there to school -- knowing of course -- that the Lord has to provide scholarship/financial aid for it to be possible. I didn't want to diminish his enthusiasm, so I told him that we could "consider it" along with our state school.
Well, in the course of the past two weeks, things have just changed ever so slightly, and now it seems a very real possibility that this is the Lord's will for my son. Moreover, there seems a good possibility that I would move as well, and thus saving about 8k per year in housing costs. Nothing is set yet, but there seems to be some movement this way to cement this as the path for my son's schooling.
Back to today at lunch. My son told his Dad that this was what he wanted to do. My DH was not really on board, but then he is pretty practical about things. His first thought was "why?" His second was "what kind of job will you get?" It is funny because during our home school experience, my husband never was concerned about JOBs. He was always all over the learning for life experience, the study what you love approach, etc. Now though it is "will you get a job" and "why do you want to do that" type of thing.
After lunch, we went over to Walmart to do some shopping, and my son confessed to me that he couldn't really articulate why he wants to do this, but he did say that he "feels that God wants him to study this language." Oh YES! I have known this for some time, and whenever I ask the Lord about it, He reminds me to be patient, to wait, and to let things be. He told me that the time was coming -- soon -- when my son would know what the Lord wanted for His life, but until that time, I had to be silent and simply let things be. It seems that this was for my benefit, that this was so that I would know that God was working in my son, and that His timing was perfect in all things.
So here I sit, typing on my blog, and getting sleepy -- but I am rejoicing at God's provision and care. You see, I know the plans God has for my life. My son has not really understood what God wanted for his life -- though he has expressed some feeling in certain areas (like with music or language study). Everything seems to be lining up, to be set in motion for us to move to Chicago next year. I don't know exactly if this is what we will do or not. Perhaps my son will simply go on ahead and live in the dorms while I live here in Phoenix for a couple more years? Perhaps we will both go, thanks to a job promotion or a lateral move? Not sure, I just know that it is exciting to see God moving in my son's life at the same time that He is moving in mine. God is up to something SWEET and I cannot wait to see what actually unfolds.