Today has been rough, and I mean really rough. It started out OK, but once I got going, I found myself drenched in rain, and feeling so very out of sorts. The day went from good to not so good in one fell swoop, and I ended up confused and confounded about my present, and my future. I stuck it out, though, and through the rain, the answer came to me -- "be still and know that I am God." Yes, Psalm 46:10 rang through my head, and before I knew it, I came to the understanding that everything "IS" exactly as God intends it to be. Yes, I may be confused (slightly), and I may not know all the details; but, God does. He is in control of my days and knows the plans He has for me (Jer. 29:11). Not only does God know the plans He has for me, but He is working out the details of those plans so that everything in my life aligns with them. In short, God is working behind the scenes to orchestrate the details of my life so that everything, every item, aligns with His Marvelous Will.
My confusion lays in the fact that I am human flesh, and with flesh, my understanding is limited. I can only see and understand (perceive/know) what is tangible to me or within my frame of reference or scope of logic and reason. I am limited, I am finite in my wisdom. Therefore, there are times in my life when no matter how much I pray, I seek, and I ask for clarification -- the answer, the mystery, the knowledge will still not be "there" for me. It doesn't mean that it won't be there forever; more so it is that it is not there for me now. In time, and with more experience or time, the knowledge and understanding will merge together and I will 'get it.' I will know what God is doing, and I will see it in crystal clear fashion and full-on color. God is GOOD that way, and He doesn't always share what He is doing with us. Sometimes He clues us in, and sometimes He asks us to wait, to be patient, and to be still.
This is the lesson I learned today, that my confusion stemmed from a lack of knowledge, and so much so that my straining and striving to grasp "whatever was missing" was simply causing me to be confounded and anxious. It was only when I let go, and agreed with the Lord, saying "Ok, I give up on this bit of information," that the breakthrough came for me. I glimpsed into the future and saw a new possibility, a new opportunity where one didn't seem to exist. I got a feeling that everything was just as it was supposed to be -- in progress -- with no definitive end in sight just yet. I realized that this journey is just beginning, and while I might want to see the ending now, I simply will have to wait until we get there, until we make it to the end of all things. You cannot see what is not there yet, no matter how hard you try to envision and imagine it. You must wait for the end to come, and you must be patient and endure today, tomorrow and however many days are between the here and now and the then and end.
I get it. I understand. Now I am asked to wait for that end, and to be active in what needs doing today. I am to trust the Lord for today and tomorrow and know that whatever the outcome -- it will be just as the Lord determines it to be. Until that day, I will walk and I will do the work assigned to me. I will let the Lord provide for me, and for my son; and I will trust Him that whatever He determines for us will be best. This is the only way to be at rest and have joy and contentment. I know this, really I do. I have been foolish to try and grab at the future, hoping to hold onto whatever I saw hanging out there. The Lord has said "let go" and I have abided in His Word to me. I cannot hold onto tomorrow for it is not there yet. I cannot hold on to today for it is quickly fading away. I must be content to rest in the knowledge of God, and in His Wisdom. I must know that everything will be as He intends it to be, and that I do not have to worry about His ability to keep His promise to me. He is Good that way.
I let go of today knowing that it is but a fleeting moment in your Eternity. I refuse to grasp the future because it is not set, and will be determined by you as time passes. I cannot know for certain that it will be this way or that way, but I can rest in the knowledge that it will be aligned with your will and that it will please you and be for my best. I let go of what I don't know, and I embrace the truth that you know everything. I can rest and trust you for today and tomorrow. I can count on your Word, and I can know that your promises are true and will be fulfilled. You are God, and as God, all things are possible (Luke 1:37). I surrender to the truth, and I let go of the frustration and anxiety of what may be tomorrow. May all your plans come to pass in my life. I accept and agree to whatever changes you desire, and to the way in which I am to go. I commit my way to you and agree with you that it is best for me to do as you ask, to follow after you, and to seek your will in every area of my life. I commit my time and my ability to do your work, and to let you complete your work in me and through me. I ask now for the Power of Your Great Name so that everything you desire for me comes to pass. I rest in this completion knowing that your Sufficiency is enough, and that I am blessed and favored in every task and in every duty you plan and prepare for me. May God be Praised today and forever more, Amen (so let it be.) Selah (pause and calmly think about that!)