October 5, 2012

It's Friday!

I made it through to payday -- HOORAY! Oh, has it been a stressful week for me. I have worried and fretted unneccessarily, and made myself almost sick over the fact that I had rent and other bills coming due the first week of the month. I am normally short during this first week, but that just means I may be down to a couple hundred dollars in checking -- not down to less than $100! I don't like to run short, and since most of my first of the month bills are automatically debited from my account -- I freak at the thought of them hitting my account, and then being overdrawn.

I double-checked the actual post dates from the past month, and I knew that most would not really hit my account until tomorrow or even Monday. Still, the fear just consumed me, and I allowed it to control my thoughts and feelings. I ended up being miserable the entire week. NOTE TO SELF: DON'T DO THAT AGAIN!

On another note, I had a really good week at work. I am counting today in as well because I think it is going to be a good day too. I liked the new system training (yesterday), and I think it is going to be really easy to use and more productive than the last system. I just got the hang of the old way, and will be starting "practice" on the new way next week. Still it seems more efficient, just in how to use the system (less up/down, back/forth and more next, next, next on screens). It also looks like everything is better organized, and the creation of the materials (in my case cards and kits) is going to be done online through the online editor (sweet!) Overall, I liked the system, and I think it will make this part of my job easier.

Switching gears....my son is going to attempt his road test today. After two failed attempts to get his license (due to system being down and the camera down), he is ready to try to take his test (3rd time, right?) He already passed his road test through the driving school, but the state has said that driving school road tests don't count anymore, so he has to retake it through the official office. He has been practicing with my Mom and Dad, and will take the test on their Honda. I am praying he passes -- please Lord, let him pass today?

Passing means a couple things to me -- one, I will have to add him to my insurance soon. He is covered on my car, but since he will be driving more than occasionally, I need to have him added as a part-time driver. Two, it also means that I need to get my brakes fixed, and that is a money-issue right now. My car needs new brakes, and the rotors need to be resurfaced. I may need two new tires too. And, of course, I will probably need to have my fluids checked, etc. I want to make sure that the car is safe for him to drive to school at night, and to get him to worship practice at church. He can do it, I know it -- I just want the car to be safe.

Lastly, and then I need to get ready for work today -- I am ready to let go of everything (yet again) so that the Lord can perform His work through me. I have been hanging on, fearing the worst, and gritting my teeth while enduring these little battles. I know that if I let go, and I let the Lord work through me, then I can be at rest WHILE I am enduring and patiently waiting. However, I prefer to do the "grab the handlebar and grit my teeth" approach (like on a roller coaster or other amusement park ride). I hold on until the ride comes to a full stop! If I just let go, resting in the sufficiency of my God and rely on His Performance and not my own, then I can take that ride with my hands up high, and enjoy the process along with Him. I don't do it enough, often enough, and the result is that I do survive the ride, but with knots in my stomach, and a feeling of tension. It is better to let go, and enjoy the ride...when will I ever learn?

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