January 12, 2013

Trust Always

It is Saturday. It is very cold outside this morning, and I am thankful that I am sitting at my computer, in my very warm alcove, and blissfully enjoying my cup of coffee. I am so very glad I am not having to go outside to work, or worst, have to live out in this cold. It is not frigid cold outside, after all, we are in Phoenix. I think the early morning temperature was 29. It is 31 right now -- very chilly for Arizona, even in January.

I am sitting here, early as it is (6:10 a.m.) and thinking about this past week, and all the struggle I had, all the turmoil, all the disappointment. It has been, by all accounts, a very crummy week. I am glad it is over. However, amidst the trials and difficulty, and even the moments when I felt crushed and useless -- there was hope, and a glimmer of good mixed in. God showed up right in the middle of what was a pretty terrible situation, and with His great peace and comfort, helped me see that it wasn't as bad as it seemed. Yes, it was pretty bad -- Titanic type crisis to us -- but not to God. God provided a way for me to survive, and to make it through the week. Yesterday, He did something special, something unexpected.

I was working on my tasks, which meant overseeing Privacy Issues. I had been assigned this responsibility earlier in the week (last week really). This week we added six more issues, and the overall importance of my work, escalated. I was helping a colleague with a reporting problem, and I received a call from one of the Directors back east. I was unprepared for the call, simply meaning, I didn't expect to be called personally to give an account. And the conversation was not like, "Carol, what is the latest status...on this or that." It was "When do you need this information?" I mean, this person was asking ME when I needed information, and was explaining to ME why things were a certain way. I just was friendly, and very calm on the phone -- I laughed, I joked a little (just levity), and the call ended. I hung up, and I thought, "well, that was interesting..."

This is the person who I had applied to for a job I thought I wanted to do. I don't think my resume was ever forwarded to him because I hadn't been in my job six months. I forgot that you had to be in the company for that time before you could look for a different position. So here I am having this amazing conversation with a person who could potentially offer me a way out of my situation. My hope soared -- not that there is even a chance I will move out of my position -- but simply to see that my current work situation is not as bleak and hopeless as I had thought. God showed me that there is always a WAY, when you trust Him and when you rest in His Provision and Security.

I left yesterday afternoon feeling better, and thinking that everything was going to be OK. I have no assurance that things will be OK. I have no view or vision that anything has changed, I simply have a belief that things will be OK for me. I may stay in this job or I may go to another. I may remain in Phoenix or I may go to some other city. It doesn't matter. It doesn't matter what I do or where I go so long as I am going His Way, I am good.

God is so very good to me. I cannot even say how much better I feel today, and how my outlook and attitude has changed since yesterday. It is as if one call, one not-so-special call, changed it all. I saw myself in one moment as an important part of the process, where as I had only seen my role as one of the many who were clinging to the side of that sinking ship. Instead, I glimpsed myself as standing there, strong and ready, defending and helping, and making a difference. There was VICTORY in that moment, and it reminded me that with God all things as possible, and that there is ALWAYS HOPE. God never gives up, and He never gives in. There is always HOPE.

So as I sit here today, I am thanking God for His hope. I am thanking Him for bringing peace into my life and for giving me the grace to remain and be still. God has a good plan for my life, and He knows me so very well. He knows all about my situation, my fears, my worries, and my doubts. He knows what He wants to accomplish in my life. May God be praised today and forever more! Amen, so be it. Thy will be done. God is so very Good to me!!

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