I got a call at work yesterday afternoon from Regent University saying that I had been voted "IN" to the Doctoral program in Communication! The Committee had chosen to accept me, and I will start courses this June, 2013. I about fell out of my chair when I heard the words "You've been voted IN," and it took all my composure to NOT jump up and yell "WhooHOO!!" in my section of the building. I ran outside instead and called my parents and then I shouted, "I did it, I really did it!!"
I have to be honest and say that my faith has wavered some during this entire application process. It has been over three years since the Lord first placed Regent University on my heart, and called me to consider attending there for a Ph.D program. I was hesitant for a long while, not really sure why He would choose Regent and a Communication program for me. After all, I am a Humanities and English major -- not interested in Media/Journalism. In fact, I never really liked Media and Journalism, and I certainly never considered a career in that field. Yet, here I am working as a Communications Analyst, dealing with communication issues on a daily basis, and the Lord is pressing me toward an advanced degree in this very field. Oh my, what an interesting turn of events!
As I consider my path, and the journey that has brought me to this place, I can only lift the Name of the Lord high, and give Him all the Praise, Honor, and Glory. There is no way that I could even begin to approach such a program (a five-year program) with such enthusiasm, and determination unless the Lord was in it, and through it. He is, and I know this -- clearly -- I know He is all over this program. I see His hand, and His fingerprints on every aspect of the application and interviews and acceptance. I give Him His due because He is Glorious and so very Faithful. He promised me that I was "IN" and He consistently told me not to worry about it. Did I listen? Yes and no. I did listen, but those awful doubts about my adequacy surfaced, and then I would think "who am I to even expect consideration?" Oh, how prone I am to those kinds of doubts and to the issues that surround feelings of worth.
I have struggled for so long with these feelings, and even though I am confident and I know my strengths well, I still do not consider myself smart enough, worthy enough, good enough for this kind of program. Perhaps this is the very reason why the Lord chose this path for me? He knows my weaknesses, and my frailty, and through this path, He is able to do abundantly more than what is required. Yes, it is through His strength, and His desire that I am here today, and it will be because of His empowerment that I walk through these next few years and attend this University.
I am in awe of Him. I give Him Praise today because He is Good, and His Goodness flows over me, and covers my life with His blessing. Our God is an Awesome God, and I thank Him for being who He is -- reliable, dependable, and always faithful. God be praised today and forever more!