February 14, 2013

Stressed Beyond Measure

It is Thursday, and I am stressed beyond measure. I cannot even begin to describe how overwhelmed I feel right now. I have spent the past couple weeks trying to keep the water from covering my head. I am worn out with all the dog paddling, and bobbing to keep my head afloat.

Today was really the final straw. I woke up early, at 5:00 a.m., because I had a 7:00 a.m. conference call at work. I was a nervous wreck, and I wanted to cover my head, and not come out. The weeks leading up to this call have been torturous and frustrating. I feel overworked, and overwhelmed, and as if the short end of the stick is jabbing me constantly. Nothing I do seems good enough, and the doubts, fears, and thoughts of failure are soaring through my head with a constant throbbing pain.

I was sick to my stomach, literally. I suffer from IBS, but it has been a long time since my last flare up. This week, though, my IBS kicked into gear, and the stress and nerves got the best of me. I was miserable last night, and this morning woke up with such a stomach ache that I thought I was not going to be able to make it far from the bathroom all day long.

Thank goodness I am able to work from home some of the time. I called in sick, but said I would work from home through my calls. Afterwards, I would be offline (in essence, home sick.) I did it, and I made it through the calls, and at 11:30 a.m., said goodbye and shut my laptop down. Praise God, I made it through the day.

The good news that followed was that my car was ready to be picked up at the dealership (it had been painted as part of my new ownership package), and that I finally settled the issue with my old car (thank you, Jesus!) I popped out for about an hour, and came home with my new car; and my AZ title notarized and ready for transfer tomorrow with the salvage company. By 4 p.m. tomorrow, I will be a one-car owner again, and my worries and fears and stress will be diminished. God is so very good to me.

As I think back on the weeks leading up to this one, the only thing I can think to say is "God is Good." I mean it, really I do -- He is so very Good. I went from being a one-car owner to having no drivable transportation to owning an almost new car -- in all of 1 week. Secondly, I received my second interview with Regent, and my acceptance call. Third, I made the decision to move in with my parents this summer, so I can be more help to them as they deal with the issues they face getting older. Last, I have handled an unreasonable amount of work at my job, and I have survived. I haven't liked the workload, but I have survived it.

Today, I am worn out, so very worn out; but I am good. I am content to be where I am today, and with the knowledge of what my future holds for me tomorrow. I am uncertain of all the details, but I know my God is firmly in  control, and He has me covered. I am good. He is Good, and His Grace is so very sufficient.

1 comment:

Mama Squirrel said...

Thank you for allowing us...even those of us who know you only through your posts...to walk with you through the bad times as well as the good. It is a privilege to watch as God continues to unfold His plans in your life.