August 19, 2013

Counting down the days

It has been almost 20 days since my last post. I am not sure why I have been absent from this blog, but maybe it is just because I am so busy. Or maybe it is because things are moving so quickly that I don't really have time to sit and think, really think about anything. So much has happened over the past couple weeks. My life has literally taken a major U-turn, and I am now heading in a different direction. I have felt the whirlwind of emotional panic as the Lord up and lifted me out of my place, and put me on a new path. I wasn't happy, not happy at all, but I have endeavored through it. I had so much upset, so many complaints, and all these emotions that I spent the majority of the time complaining and crying out to the Lord.

"Oh, Lord! What is going on?"
"Why am I so miserable today?"
"Why is this happening?"

I would then lament about my misery, and complain some more.

"Lord, I don't understand what is happening?"
"What is wrong?"
"Why do I feel this way today?"

It has been a rough couple weeks, but here I am at the end of it. I have to report that nothing has changed for me, as in, gotten better. My attitude has shifted, and that is a good thing, but my circumstances are exactly the same as they were back on August 3rd. God is still in His heaven, and He reigns. He has not been moved, shaken, or upset from His place of Glory. Nope, He is where He is, and I am where I am. I guess you could say it is exactly as it is meant to be.

Updated News

Today marks the last Monday that I will work at CVS Caremark. I am thankful for the job and I am thankful for the opportunity to work for this great company. I have not had a good experience while there, but the job and company were blessings to me. The work load and environment where heavy and difficult. I wasn't happy; I was stressed, so very stressed all the time. In the end, I am happy to be leaving, and glad that I do not have to continue to work there through the 2013-14 Welcome Season.

Grand Canyon University

I am officially hired now. I attended orientation, and I have my badge and parking permit. I am a part-time employee, not guaranteed anything, but for all intents and purposes, I am where I am.

The path was not easy, and I spent most of the month being frustrated over their practices. I have two classes only. The third, I have asked for, but have not received any contract on yet. School starts Monday, and I am content to be an Instructional Assistant for one semester, maybe two. After that, I am trusting the Lord to provide instructor positions, and enough pay to live on.

I am thanking the Lord for His provision now, and I am trusting Him to provide for me. I have relinquished my unhappiness over the salary (meek at best), and I have let go of everything else. I am content to follow Him to this school, and to wait and see Him provide.

God knows what He is doing, and while I am thankful for the student teaching opportunity, I cannot help but think that the money is not enough, and we are going to be poor again. I cannot think that way, but I must trust the Lord - He knows best. I am resting in HIM - in all of HIM. He is sufficient, and I am good.

University of Phoenix

I cannot believe that I am in week 5 of my Research class. Part of me is so glad that this class is over, and part of me wishes it could continue on. I have enjoyed the class assignments, and I have learned a lot about marketing and research proposals. I will take another research class in the fall or spring to give me a graduate level research course. I need a break from the tedium of the 4 out of 7 days posting, and the weekly papers. I have done well, I have an A in the class. My hope is the my learning team project doesn't drop my grade any, but really I don't care that much anymore. The regimen at UOPX is tough, and at this point, I just want to be done.

Regent University

I started two new doctoral classes today. I am very excited about these courses, and I look forward to learning more about the history of communication, and organizational communication. I love Regent University! I absolutely love it. I am so blessed to be a student at this school, and I look forward to completing my education there.

In closing

I have had a rough couple weeks. I know what I am responsible for now, and I know that all this stuff, this mess, was partly of my creation. I reacted badly to some news I received regarding GCU, and I stewed and fretted over it for three weeks. My entire attitude and countenance was downcast, and as such, I was miserable. I was so miserable. God didn't remove me from my situation, and He didn't provide a way out for me. He made me endure the trial, and stick it through to the end. I still don't have the answers, and I don't see the way out clearly. I am where I am, and I am content to be here so long as He is here with me. I know He is in this and He will not leave me stranded. God is Good like that, so very good.

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