In fact, now that I think about it, He told me to wait while I was at CVS Caremark. He said that He had a job in mind for me, but that I had to wait and be patient for everything to come together. I was so stressed over the events at CVS, that I begged for a way out, and the Lord provided the opportunity at GCU. I am thankful for the time at GCU, and for the lessons I have learned there.
First, I learned that I don't like teaching. I think teaching is a great career, but it is not the choice for me. I am not passionate about teaching, and I don't really enjoy helping students learn basic studies. I do enjoy higher level studies, graduate coursework, etc., but learning how to write a paragraph or essay is not of interest to me.
Second, I learned that I don't like being bored or waiting for work. I need to be busy, and not with busy work, but with real technical or challenging "thinking" type work. Waiting for the teacher to do the lesson, waiting to answer student's questions, waiting for them to show up for appointments, etc. Yes, I sit around and wait -- A LOT. I am not good with waiting, and teaching is a slow paced type of career.
Third, I learned that I love money. Yes, I am breaking scripture when I make that statement. The truth is that I see the value in money, and I see what it is used for in our world. I am not zealous to make money, and yes, I believe it is the root of all evil. However, money is a provision of the Lord, and with His provision, it is always a GOOD thing.
Last, I learned that there are certain kinds of work that suit me, suit my style, suit my personality, and suit my preference. Not every job is a good fit. Not every job aligns with His will for my life. And, not every job is a good choice for my skills and abilities. It is OK to be particular, and it is OK to wait for the right job opportunity.
I know what I am good at, and I know what kind of work I like to do.
- I like to work on the computer (mostly)
- I like to analyze data
- I like to conduct research
- I like to wear many hats (variety)
- I like stimulation and challenge (thinking)
- I like to make a contribution
- I like to be part of a team
- I like to work on my own
- I like to make my own plans
- I like to work in a quiet environment
- I like little socialization
- I like to use my brain 90% of the time
- I like to laugh
- I like to build relationships
- I like to be productive
- I like to advance
- I like to achieve
- I like rewards (A LOT)
I don't like to be social, to be "on", and to be in the limelight. I like to work quietly on a project until it is done, and I like to know that what I am doing is vital and important. In short, I am an analytical and logical thinker who needs mental challenge and stimulation to feel valued and to be important. Not much, really, but in my view, these are the very things I need every day to make me feel OK, to feel good about myself, and to know that I am right where I need to be. God is so Good to help me understand this, and to accept who I am, and what kinds of work suit me best.
I spoke with the Lord this morning about my inability to rest. Resting is an important characteristic of the Lord. He is at rest now, and He has rested from His work. We are also to rest, and to do that we must choose to rest. It is not an option for us, well -- yes and no. We can choose not to rest and then suffer stress, strain, and sorrow or we can choose to rest and feel the blessedness of His peace. I was stressed, and I felt the strain of trying to do everything in my own strength. I chose to rest this morning, and the peace of God flooded my heart and gave me the grace to let everything go. I let all that I was holding on to go, and I rested in His Sufficiency. As soon as I did so, everything seemed to level out. I went to my class today, completed the tasks, and as I walked back to my car - noticed I had a voicemail on my phone. That voicemail was the call asking me to setup a second interview. It was like the water was released from the dam and the spillway began overflowing with blessing. It was an amazing experience, and now I sit here an marvel at His ability and willingness to bless my life. I love you, Lord. I love YOU!