December 13, 2013

Thinking

Today has been ONE of those days. I woke up later than usual. I had a bad dream last night, another one where I was in a position of protecting people I didn't know (besides my family). In this dream, there was a dinosaur/Godzilla like creature outside my house. It's big eye was looking in the window (remember that image from "Jurassic Park?") I wasn't scared, per se, it was more that I was calling to all the people to keep the doors and windows closed and to stay away from the exits. A couple times in my dream, someone opened up the door, and I ran to quickly close it. It was like they were not aware of the danger outside, but I was keenly aware of what was lurking beyond the door.

I am really tired of having these dreams. I have had about five or six of them now and they are all so similar. I am sure that these dreams are happening because of something I said or something I am worried or anxious over. I know that whenever I have had terrifying dreams before they are usually the result of me not letting go and trusting God. Mostly, they are dreams where I am in a tornado or in some other type of serious situation (a boat sinking, for example). I haven't had these kinds of dreams in a long while, and this time around, I am not the one at issue. I am the one trying to save other people from the terror outside.

I looked up what a dinosaur symbolizes in dreams. Depending on your interpretation, it could me a multitude of things. I googled for biblical symbology and the dinosaur is linked with Satan or a satanic attack. The dinosaur, alligator, and lizard (leviathan) are synonymous with the biblical account of the dragon in Scripture. In all, this suggests that my last three dreams were a form of spiritual attack. Although I wasn't scared in these dreams, which is very unusual for me, I was more on alert, alarmed and very aware of the presence of a creature lurking outside my home and my work place. However, I am uncertain of the interpretation at this point. I believe that these dreams are to let me know that in my life (now or in the future), I will be responsible for caring for people, protecting them from demonic attack. Perhaps it simply means shepherding people or having a ministry in my home whereby people can find a safe place to be in community. I am not sure, but I am certain that the dreams are significant since they are occurring each night.

Lord, please help me to understand if I need to be aware of these dreams, to interpret them. If these dreams are nothing of importance, then let them pass so that I no longer have them. I ask this now in Jesus' Name. Amen.

Today, as I mentioned above, has been a laborious day. I have felt out of sorts the entire day. I got into a argument with my Father (not a war of words, but rather a war of silence). I know that he is stressed right now, and I took offense when he said something off handed to me. I should have let it pass, and yet, I made a deal out of it. I regret that now because it shows that my flesh is so very weak, and that I was not walking in the Spirit.

Lord, please help me to let go of my fleshly instinct to recoil when attacked. Instead, let me be filled with grace to respond with silence (the good kind - holding my tongue), and not with any offense. I ask this in Jesus Name. Amen.

I came home after a lunch out (where the incident above occurred) and promptly fell asleep. I slept for two hours and when I woke up, I didn't really feel better. I sat down at my computer and started to write this blog post. I feel that the Lord is trying to tell me something and either I am not listening or I am missing the point completely.

Lord, please clarify your way to me. Let me know if I have done anything at all that needs to be confessed. Then, Lord, cleanse me and heal my mind so that I can be free from these thoughts and feelings. I ask this now Lord, so that I can walk on after you, following in your Spirit, and know that I am at rest in your will and in your way. I ask this in Jesus' Name. Amen.

Lord, help me to understand your will for my life and why I am feeling the way I feel. I lift up the shield of faith and the sword of the Spirit and I stand. Lord, I stand knowing you are my victor and my champion. You have overcome, and I overcome in your Name. I pray all this now in the mighty and merciful name of Jesus. Amen.

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