December 11, 2013

Understanding The Way To Go

It is a Good Wednesday morning - hump day - as many people like to call it. I am blessed to be at home, again another good day at home. God has provided time off from my previous employer so that I could rest, and I so need to REST. I am physically unwell, not to the point of exhaustion, but generally unwell to where I feel icky most days, and to where I have common symptoms (headaches, stomach aches, backaches, etc.) I am not sick to the point of staying in bed or even staying in the house, I just have that "I don't feel well" feeling every day. I am blessed to be at home. I slept in until about 8 am this morning. I woke up at 6, which is my normal time to get up, but I made myself stay in bed. I fell back to sleep and then two hours later I had a fuzzball on my face purring and crying and rubbing his chin all over my head. I had to get up!

As I think about the fact that I am able to stay at home in the mornings, I am thanking God for this provision and His Grace. I cannot remember how many times I have prayed this to the Lord. I have cried out and said how much I missed the days when I worked from home (as a designer), and I could work or I could go with my Mom to the shops or to lunch. I had freedom to come and to go, and I loved the fact that if I felt ill, I could stay at home until I felt better. I loved that I could rest when I wanted to rest, and that I could sleep until I woke up naturally every morning. Sure there were times when I had to be up and out the door, but generally speaking, I could make my own hours, and I loved that gift of choice, of freedom from the routine 9-5 of the business office.

I read back on my blog this morning, and I found this:

"I miss the days when I could come and go at my pleasure, shop with my Mom, or just do nothing -- all because I could choose what to do" (Jan 2013).

I cried to the Lord about my overwhelming workload last January, and here I sit (now in December) without those boundaries on me. God has delivered me from the routine of working 9-5, and He has provided a way for me to complete my graduate studies, work (to earn income), but all with the freedom and flexibility I so desire. He is Good to me, He is so very Good to me!

I spent some time on my blog and I read through other months and other posts. I found this post as well:

"Yes, I need to remember that every day is a gift from God, and that as His child, I am blessed to receive it. With Joy and with Thanksgiving, I receive His gift to me. I rejoice -- am filled with joy -- at the gift, and I give thanks to the Giver of all Good things" (April 2013).

I was writing about my job at CVS and I was also thinking about all the work God was asking me to do. I hadn't started my graduate studies at Regent, so I was overwhelmed thinking about how I was going to work, to do school, and pay all the bills. In short, I felt unprepared to handle what God was asking me to do.

After some reflection time, I remembered that God had me covered and that every day was His Gift to me. I could take it and rejoice or I could take it and complain. I had made the decision to be filled with joy and to receive His Gift with grace.

I continued to read on and I came across these two posts:

"I also realized that God's plans for my life are non-negotiable."

and

"Therefore, we need a plan of action followed by adequate time to prepare for work. These two items must be completed to ensure we can perform as desired or expected."

I sit here today as a recipient of God's provision and His plan. He has created a way for me to go, and as such, He has planned, prepared and is ready for me to be performing what He has designed. I am to rest in the planning - He has already done this for me. I am to rest in the preparation - He has already seen to my training so that I am able to do what He asks me to do. Now I must rely upon His Grace to perform, to do the work so that He is able to shine through me. God has made a way, and I am walking in that way. He is Good, so very Good to me!

Dear Lord -

Thank you for this day, and for the plans that you have made for me. I rest in your Plans for I know that they are Good. I let go of the worry and the anxiety over how I will teach and how I will perform in my Spring courses. I am well-prepared for the life you have given to me, and I am ready to go and do your work. I trust you (I believe you), and I know that you are more than able to do what you are asking me to do. Therefore, I can let this go because you will do all this work through me. May I be used as your instrument this day, and may I rest in the knowledge that there is nothing you cannot do through me. I am your tool, I am your vessel, and I ask now that you use me in whatever capacity you choose. I thank you for the provision of my life. I am good, and I have enough. I thank you for the grace to learn new skills, and to become a subject matter expert in my field. I thank you that I can become the person of your creation, your choosing, and that I can be a teacher, a Mom, a daughter, and I servant of the King. I am your child, and I look to you, my Father, for every need, for every blessing, and for every desire that fills my head and my heart. I praise you today, and I thank you for saving me and making a way for me to go. I ask all this in Jesus' Name. Amen, so be it, thy will be done. Selah! (Pause and calmly think about it!)

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