April 28, 2014

He Hears Me When I Call

I just downloaded my syllabus for COM 652: Crisis Communication. This is an 8-week course that I am taking alongside the required COM 703: Qualitative Research Methods course. The latter includes my summer residency, June 9-13, 2014, on campus in VA Beach, VA. It is also one of four required core research methods classes for my program (COM 701: Historical/Critical Research Methods is scheduled for fall 2014 with COM 704: Advanced Theory for spring 2015).

Crisis Comm should be a good class. One of my favorite Regent professors teaches it. He is such a sweet, wonderful, Godly man, and he is so brilliant. I feel like I learn so much in his classes. I am a little concerned about the 8-week format. I have never taken a short course, so I don't know quite what to expect from the reading/writing load. Oh well...such is the life of a doctoral student!

On another front, it looks like I might be tasked to take my nephew back to LA this week. He is trying to get a ride with his friend or take the bus home, but my SIL told my Mom that "Carol is bringing him." I was like "Well, that hasn't been decided yet!" I would like to know for certain because my INTJ brain doesn't handle spur of the moment trips. I need to do laundry and I have to pack. I cannot jump in the car and drive 6.5 hours without a little bit of planning.

If there was a good week to drive west, then this would be it. I have GCU student papers to grade, but since my Regent school doesn't start until next week, I am "technically" free to loaf around. I wouldn't mind driving over to LA, it is just that I will be driving back solo. Now is when it would be nice to have a friend to go with me. Most of my friends from work are working -- so that let's them out. My teacher friends live in other states so it is just me and my parents (DJ has to work or else I know he would jump at the chance to go with me). Mom cannot go because she has an event on Saturday, and I told her she cannot leave my Dad alone for a couple days. He is OK, and he can take care of himself, but he also will have to feed the cats and clean the litter box. She NEEDS to stay (for other reasons -- see below!)

Oh, drats! I just got an email reminder that final grades for GCU students are due. My students just turned in their final papers yesterday! Give me a break! Well, it looks like my plans for today just flew out the window. I am going to be grading research papers all day long!

Winston is being weird today. He is biting my hand and trying to bite my face each time I talk to my Mom and Dad (they are out in the kitchen and I am in at my computer). He does this when he gets upset. He doesn't like it when I talk loudly to them. He was pretty rotten last night too. I heard faint scratching noises around 4 AM and when I got up to check it out, Winston had locked himself in the bathroom. He does this -- weird kitty -- where he pulls the towels off the bathroom door. They will fall right behind the door and then when he tries to go out, the door closes shut. I don't know how long he was stuck in the bathroom last night, but I am thinking it was probably a good long while.

OK, I need a break today. My parents are driving me crazy. I love them, I really do, but they talk loudly to each other and they do it starting at 7 AM. I need some quiet right now. Perfect example, my Mom is talking to my Dad who happens to be in the garage working. She is standing at the garage door talking to him in this loud voice. I mean he is all of five feet from her and she is talking like he is 20-25 feet away. Now he is yelling at her about putting stuff away in the kitchen. Oh, this has got to end soon. I love them, of course I do, but there are days when I miss my quiet home. I miss my home!

The Lord knows what is best for me. He knows that my parents needed my help, and that I needed to work part-time this semester so I could complete COM 702. I couldn't have completed it and worked full-time. There was just no way possible, and I know it. My parents and I do get a long well, it is just that I miss being alone, and I miss having my own home. I miss my things around me, and I miss being able to do what I want to do. It is very hard to move back in with your parents, especially after you have been away for 30 years! God is good. God is good. I know He understands this is a sacrifice for me, and that He has a way out for me. His timing is perfect, and He will provide a full-time job at some point and then I will be back on my own again. I know He knows my heart, and He understands my needs.

It is now 10:36 and I am sitting here in my PJs. I have had my breakfast, and my coffee (Pikes Peak - our friend Barb brought a box of it for Easter -- Thank you, Barb!) for the morning. I am going to go hide in the bathroom. I need to get showered and dressed, and I can have some peace and quiet as long as I am in there. Oh, this is sad, so very sad.

Dear Lord,

I know that you orchestrated this arrangement so that my parents would have the help they needed, and I would have the support I needed while I started my PhD program. You know that I love my parents and that I think the world of them, but I am starting to suffocate here at home. I need some time away. I need some trips where I can go by myself and get away from the noise, the loud voices, and the tension of being four people in this one home. I ask Lord that you provide some respite for me, some time away. Even if it is just for a day or two, I ask for an opportunity to be released from this situation so I can have some downtime all to myself. I thank you for your provision, for your goodness toward me, and for the plans you have for my life. I ask now in Jesus' Name for this opportunity to be able to be a grown up again (at 51 I should be grown up, right?) Thank you for everything you have done in my life, and thank you for everything you are doing now. I trust you, and I rest in your sufficiency this day. Amen, so be it, thy will be done! Selah (pause, and think about it calmly)!

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