July 3, 2014

Weightloss Goals

Just a quick post to update my weightloss status.

I guess I should explain a little bit before I update this status. Weight loss and I are old friends, and not necessarily, the good kind of "old friends!" LOL!

I have struggled with weight loss for at least 15 years now. I admit it freely, I struggle to lose weight and to maintain a slim, healthy weight (and level of fitness). I am not sure about you, but I tend to define myself sometimes by my former weight or fitness level. When I see myself (mentally) I envision myself as I once was even though I know that I am far from that size/shape now. I don't know why we do that (or if others do that as well) to ourselves. It is unfair to always be thinking about ourselves in past terms.

Anyhoo - I do this to myself, and I think it is partially why I struggle so much with my current weight.

Over the past 10-15-20 years, my weight has yo-yo-ed. I was slim as a teenager and young adult. I started to gain weight in my 20s, but that was due to my poor eating habits and lack of exercise (I have I blogged this before -- I hate exercise!) Yes, I was a Cheetos' and Pepsi kind of girl for a lotta years! In fact, I could eat pretty much whatever I wanted to eat and not gain much weight. I did gain weight, of course, but it was the slow gain of a 1-2 pounds per year. Those little pounds add up over a 10-15-20 year span, though.

I gained approximately 16 pounds with my son, but lost all that weight within 6 weeks of giving birth. I stayed relatively slim for a long time after he was born.

In 1997 (my son was 4 then), we moved from CA to AZ, and I started to pack on the pounds. I was already a little overweight at this point, probably 10 pounds heavier than I preferred. By 2001, I was 35 pounds overweight, and I felt miserable. I looked awful, and I thought I would never lose the weight, no matter what I did or how hard I worked out. It seemed like the scale wouldn't budge, and the more I tried to  lose weight, the more depressed I got over my lack of results.

Then in 2001, out of sheer desperation, I signed up with Weight Watchers. I followed the plan for 12 weeks, and I lost 16 pounds. It took me a full six months to drop the full 35 pounds. I was overjoyed with my progress, and with my new found sense of accomplishment. I loved the fact that I had energy again -- to do every day things like playing ball with my son, going for a hike, or swimming during the summer. It was wonderful to be freed from that excess weight.

Between 2001 and 2006, the weight stayed off. I kept my weight within 5 pounds of my goal. Then in 2007, my life took a turn for the worse, and I started eating to comfort myself emotionally (I eat when I am bored or depressed). By 2009, I was up 15 pounds. In fall of that year, my marriage crumbled, and due to the stress of our breakup, I actually lost about 10 pounds. It was temporary though because by the following year, I had gained that back and then some.

By 2013, my weight had ballooned up 30 pounds -- not quite to my high from 2001. I was miserable, but I was working long hours and eating very unhealthy foods (big meals too). I wanted to lose weight so I tried Weight Watchers again, this time buddying with a coworker. I lost a couple pounds, but they came right back on.

In fall of 2013, I left CVS Caremark to start adjunct teaching. I was walking a lot -- up and down stairs -- all around campus. I decided to try Atkins and do the low-carb diet. I ended up losing 10 pounds in October of that year. I was really pleased with my results, and I loved the fact that I could fit into my clothing better.

Spring 2014 brought the dreaded COM 702 class and a boat load of stress. I started eating again, not low-carb, and my weight ticked back up slightly. In April, I did Atkins and dropped to my current weight. Since April, I have not been able to shift the pounds. I mean not shift them. No matter what I do, the weight seems stuck at the same number.

Now, I know that I need to exercise (UGH!) I know that exercising would help me a lot. I just do not like to do it. I never have, I never will.

I am getting really tired of low-carb. It works for me, but after a while, I seem to struggle again with losing a consistent weekly amount. So I have made the decision to try Weight Watchers again. My goal is to lose 20 pounds. I think it is doable even at my age (51). I have to admit that losing weight after 40 is incredibly difficult. It takes so much more work to get the pounds to drop off. Still, I believe I can do it, but I have to be disciplined and focused on my goal.

Starting tomorrow (got to find my tools today) I am going to begin Weight Watchers Points. I am going with smaller portions, reducing carbs (bread, pasta and cookies -- my downfall), and sticking to a lo-calorie meal plan. My goal is a steady 1-2 pound drop per week. This means that I should be able to lose 20 pounds in ten weeks (around September 7). This would be perfect. I would head into fall teaching with far more zest and energy.

So is anyone willing to support me in this goal? I have some fitness buddies on Facebook, but they mostly run and workout (lift weights, etc.) I am looking for partners to agree with me on a slow weight loss program. Email me if you decide you want to join me.

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