January 26, 2015

Stepping Out in Faith

I normally write my blog in the early morning hours because it is relaxing for me to do, and I love to spend time sitting and thinking about deep thoughts before I have to get busy with the day at hand. Today, though, was extra busy for me, and I found myself pressed to complete my assignments and get ready to teach my literature course at GCU. Everything worked out well for me. My class at GCU seemed to go well and my study time this evening was eventful. In all, I would say that today was a very good day, a very good day indeed.

Perhaps the reason I am feeling confident is because it is week 4 of 16 weeks of teaching at GCU, and of my studies at Regent. I have passed the fail mark (if there is such a thing), and I am feeling more confident in my teaching, my lesson plans, and my approach in the classroom. Plus, I haven't lost any students, which is always a good thing, always a very good thing (LOL!) So while I am feeling a bit relieved about my teaching load, I am still swimming under the weight and pressure of mounting doctoral study assignments. Somehow, I am surviving the onslaught, and I am feeling rested, relaxed, and ready to tackle the coming weeks and months. Let me explain...

I am not sure why I have a boost of confidence, but suffice it to say, I do. I feel BETTER. I feel more CONFIDENT. I feel more IN CONTROL of my "to-do" list. I am feeling, overall, as if everything seems to be working together for my good (Romans 8:28). This new found sense of confidence seemed to burst on the scene this weekend. I was still dragging about, feeling generally overwhelmed (I blogged about it), and thinking that my ship was barely afloat. Then something --  something unusual and very God-like -- happened. I cannot really put words to the experience other than to say that it seems I did something that God asked, and the result of my obedience, was this sense of utter peace and joy. Yeah, well it sure sounds good to say it was so...but truthfully...I really don't know anything at all.

I do know this, however, and that is that I stepped out in faith this weekend, and I did something I really wasn't sure about doing. First, I know the Lord has been moving me out of AZ, but the timing of that move, the destination of that move, and the final approval of that move have not been forthcoming. This weekend I felt the Lord give me the "go ahead" to begin thinking about moving. I started to think about moving, to consider the opportunity for moving, and to begin the process of moving. Yes, I stepped out in faith, and I applied for a job in another state.

Second, I created a website for myself that showcases my teaching, writing, and research abilities. The job I applied for asked for an online portfolio, and while I did have my website setup, it hadn't been updated in a long while. Furthermore, it was geared more toward marketing and sales than education. I chose a new format, wrote new content, and added a number of research articles along with some seminar ideas, video, and teaching content.

Third, I started thinking about my dissertation topic, and I took steps to order books that the Lord seemed interested in purchasing (yes, I felt that I was to purchase these specific books). I also began to think more clearly about my topic, my focus, and the work the Lord has for me to do. I made some lists, bought some items, and generally sketched out a plan of attack.

Fourth, while I panicked a bit about my application, I started to think about my life, my role, and my ministry calling. I prayed about my way, asked for the Lord to guide me, and to show me clearly so that I would know I was on the right track, doing the right thing, and in the right time or moment.

Last, I realized today that my life is moving at a much faster pace than I normally like. While I am happy that the Lord is moving me to a new city, a new job, and a new life, I am not comfortable with the pace He is taking. I had to deal with that fact today, but through prayer and meditation in the Word, I came to understand that the Lord's timing is not always going to please me. He knows what He is doing, and as such, I have to let my desire to control outcomes go. I have to let it go!!

Where I am Going

Yes, the Lord has a good plan for my life. He knows all the details, and He has everything planned out. The plans for my life are good, of this I am certain, but the timing is what concerns me most. I am trusting Him, stepping out in faith and waiting for Him to provide, to work a miracle, and to lead me to that place with security and provision. I know He will provide for me, and I know He will show me exactly what to do, and He will tell me when to do it. For now, I rest in the assurance that I have heard the Lord tell me to 'go,' and with that word, I listened and I obeyed.

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