February 20, 2015
The Long Road Home
Yes, today is one of those days when you feel that you cannot go on, when your body is ready to quit, and your mind is unable to focus and process one more detail.
I am weary. I am heavy-ladened. I am weighed down with the burdens of life. Let me explain...
Matthew 11:28 says, "Then Jesus said, "Come to me, all of you who are weary and carry heavy burdens, and I will give you rest." The burdens I carry are heavy. The workload I lift is heavy. The load and the burden cause me to be weary. Merriam-Webster defines 'weary' as "lacking strength, energy, or freshness because of a need for rest or sleep." I am sleeping, for certain, but I am not waking up feeling refreshed. No, I feel that my days drag on, blend into each other, and my nights, while set apart for rest, are not functioning properly to bring me rest, refreshment. Moreover, I am not able to relax at all, so my time off is not functioning as it should either. Right now, everything on my plate feels so very heavy, so very overwhelming, and all of it together, is causing me to feel stressed, strained, and stretched to the breaking point. Yes, I am weary, and I am in need of blessed rest.
As I look down the road, all I see is more work, more burden, and more hardship. It is not that I don't see positive outcomes, wonderful blessedness, and the opportunity for great improvement because I do. It is just that the long road home is such a LONG ROAD.
John 16:33 - "I have told you all this so that you may have peace in me. Here on earth you will have many trials and sorrows. But take heart, because I have overcome the world."
Right now, the road seems unending with such a long stretch of 'same old, same old.' It is like when I was a child and my family was moving from CA to IL (and back). During the trip across the country, there were always these long, boring stretches of wheat fields, corn fields, barley and alfalfa fields. It seemed that along both sides of the road were unending images of tall grasses blanketed by a massive expanse of blue sky. Nothing broke the continuity but the infrequent side roads that also seemed to head off into nothing.
I know that the path I am on is of the Lord's choosing. I know that the direction I am heading is blessed and that the Lord has provided it for my best, my welfare, my good. It is just that right now, I feel so tired, so drained, and so unable to pick up my sack and move on. I must, of course, I must, but I would welcome some respite, some care, and some downtime (some blessed downtime) right about now.
I am bone weary today. I am so very tired, and I feel overwhelmed by the heaviness of the load. I ask for your care and your comfort. I need rest, good purposeful rest. I ask in the Name of Jesus for your provision to meet my every need so that I can rest. I don't want to quit, to give up or give in, but I am feeling the burn that says I am close to running out of gas. I ask now that you deliver me from this load, just for a time, so that I can rest well, be refreshed, and ready to resume my pace. I trust in your Name and in Your Hand of Mercy and Blessing, and I ask now that You do whatever you feel is necessary in order for your will to come to pass in my life. I thank you, Lord, for your goodness and your grace. You alone are worthy to be praised! You along are worthy to receive our Honor. You alone are God. Thank you, Lord! Thank you for all you do for me! Selah!