April 21, 2015
It is Tuesday and I am Spent
Last night, I was able to finish my theory paper. I don't have a lot of confidence in my work, it seems a good effort, but not 100% great. However, I have felt that way before about big papers, and in the end, I do well on them. I believe and trust in the Lord, and if He feels it is a good solid paper, then I accept His testimony on it. I really do not enjoy writing long papers (25 pages). I have learned to crank out the short 3-7 pagers in about 3-4 hours, and I like doing that a lot. These long research papers are the worst, and I feel like I need another 20 pages to really do the subject justice. Of course, I don't have the luxury of time or do I have the interest. Sigh! I am glad to be close to done on it (just remaining edits), and I will be relieved when I send it off for grading tomorrow.
In the mean time, I am trying to pull myself together to make my commitment to GCU today. I have two classes back to back, but they are presentations only. I hope I don't fall asleep in them! Oh my! I am worried now about taking on the extra credits for fall. Perhaps I should drop that class, and stick with my two original classes? Sigh!
As I sit here today, I cannot help but think that my life is about to crash. Yes, it is how I feel. I have this sense of "something big is going to happen" and I just want to run and hide under the covers. I really do want to stay in bed today. I don't want to deal with anything more. Please Lord, no more!
I know He is my King, and as such, He manages my life well. I can rest in His security and in His trust. I don't need to worry about anything, and I know He has me provided for -- every need checked, every option planned. I just need to let go, and let Him be God.
Okay. I will let God be God today and because I am not able to be myself, I am asking Him to take care of everything that concerns me this good day. Selah!