May 29, 2015

Happy Friday!

It is May 29, 2015. It is Friday (woohoo!), and I am sitting in my usual spot, blogging. I'm on my second cup of coffee (oh, I love my Keurig), and I am thinking about the plans I have for today. I don't have A LOT to do, just school work, and perhaps some pre-planning activities for my trip to Regent University next week. I am getting excited to take my 3rd and final (hopefully), summer trip to VA. If all goes well, I will take one more trip next Spring to complete my qualification exams (Quals), and then I will not return until I walk through graduation in May of 2017 (Lord, willing).

I am amazed at all the Lord has done for me. I am in awe of Him, in how He has brought me through to this day with such great care, and how He has answered my prayers, provided for my needs, and fulfilled the desires of my heart (Psalm 37:4-5). Yes, God is so very good to me; He is so very good!

I thought, in honor of it being Friday and May 29th, I would go back through my blog and see what was going on in my life on this day in 2014, 2013, and 2012 (well, all the way back to the beginning). Here is a run-down of the highlights of my life over the past 10 years of blogging. Interesting to say the least...
  • Frustration This Morning (2014) - My usual post featured details on three things: my life with my parents, my school work at Regent (prepping for Summer Residency), and work (turning down an interview at a local CC because I received contracts from GCU). God is good.
  • Moved In (2013) - This post was from the 27th (no 29th post). My update was regarding a successful move from my rented town home to the home I now share with my parents. I was preparing for my first summer residency at Regent, and I was excited about my future. I posted this Scripture verse as an encouragement to keep me focused on the Lord's plans for my life. "In his kindness God called you to share in his eternal glory by means of Christ Jesus. So after you have suffered a little while, he will restore, support, and strengthen you, and he will place you on a firm foundation." ~1 Peter 5:10 NLT
  • Resting (2012) - This post was from the 19th (no 29th post). Fun - I forgot that I went to see "Alice" at the Mesa Arts Center. A friend (now in college) was performing as part of this children's theater company, and we had gone to support her efforts. It was such a fun night. The bulk of this post was about my frustration working at UOPX. As I re-read my words, I stopped in the middle where I transition into my desires for a new career. Lo, and behold, I state emphatically that I want to teach. Hmmm... Moreover, I go on to lay out my case as to why I need to find a teaching job, and why someone (somewhere) needs to give me a chance to teach. I need teacher training, I need time to learn how to be a teacher, and most of all, I need the opportunity to use my natural and spiritual gifts in order to serve the Lord daily. I say, "I need to get someone to give me a teaching opportunity," and I lament, "I am struggling with letting go of this dream." Really? Yes, really. These are my words, and these were the words that came out of my heart on May 19th, 2012. I wanted a job teaching at the CC or another school.
  • Just When it Looks So Good (2011) - WOW! What an interesting post. I wrote this post while I was still living in my old home (married), but looking for FT work. I was at Macy's and I had been interviewing for jobs that would move me out of this home and into a place of my own. My ex and I were separated, but because of my lack of work, we lived together for 18 months. It was a challenge back then, and he wasn't helping much to pay bills. I was working PT and using my financial aid refund to keep a roof over our head, and frankly, I was getting pretty desperate for some kind of work. I was in graduate school, mid-way through my Masters program, and this post was about my old computer failing for the umpteenth time. I was praying for the Lord's provision -- money, job, new computer. 
  • Preparing to Move (2010) - Another interesting blog post. This one was about a Sunday sermon whereby the Pastor was teaching about life's big adventure and how we must pray and wait for God's direction. In May of 2010, I was separated from my ex, but living in the same home. I felt the Lord calling me to move for some time, and I had been praying for His guidance. The Lord seemed content to keep me where I was, and truthfully, I was feeling frustrated. I was praying "in the Spirit" and seeking the Holy Spirit for guidance. I wrote how important it was to be patient, to allow the Lord to prepare us for any big change, any big move. I said, "The Holy Spirit is the one who can get us moving, even in doing small things, until God is ready for us to make the big move." I reminded myself how important it is to be active in prayer. I wrote, "We need to be attentive to Him and listen to what He says. In doing so, we will waste far less time, spend more time actually doing things that are practical and helpful, and feel like we are not spinning our wheels." This post was a prayer more so than anything else, it was my commitment to "get moving," and to start being active as I waited for the Lord to open doors.
  • Summer Reading (2009) - Okay, home schooling alert. Yes, this post was about our summer reading group (Arete Classical) and my son's home school program.
  • Summer Days (2008) - Some photos of my wish to live some place green.
  • Learning to be Still (2007) - This post was from May 23rd (no 29th post). The most difficult lesson in my life - learning to be still. I wrote, "My King is waiting for me to stop running around and seeking earthly delights and to stop looking for sufficiency in anyone or anything other than Him alone." Ouch! I am still learning this lesson...
  • He is Exalted (2006) - I wrote, "God is greater and more able to handle anything that concerns me today. But only if I trust him as exalted King, Lord of Lords and King of Kings. If I give him first place in my life, everything will fall into it's proper place. And, that means that I will be in my place...in total submission to Him and sitting at his feet, worshiping Him as my King." Enough said...
  • Happy Birthday, Mom! (2005) - Sober reminder to me today since I am dealing with my Mom as she struggles with the onset of dementia. I wrote this tribute back then, "God knew what he was doing when he created Mothers. There is no substitution for a mom and they have the power to impact a child's life in so many ways. I thank my God for my mother and pray for her daily. She is my best friend and I am so glad she is here to spend her days with me." May I remember this sentiment as the days grow long and more difficult...
  • Why We Homeschool (2004) - I only wrote one post in July of that year. I was just starting to blog, and my emphasis on this site was to chronicle our journey as we home schooled our only child. This post was more frustration over the lack of support home schoolers get from friends and family, and those annoying questions that spark controversy over school methods, and which is better or worse. Sigh! I've come a long way, baby...
As I take a trip down memory lane, I can see the Lord's hand on my life as He moved me from a SAHM to a single working mother. I have come a long way, a very long way, and while the path has been difficult at times, rocky and steep, I have come through to this pleasant place where I am content, and where I feel good most of the time. The dark days of depression are long past, and while I may get frustrated at times, overwhelmed, and some times really, really disgusted, I am generally in a good mood almost every single day. My words are filled with encouragement, and my heart sings the testimony of a life lived in submission to the Lord. I love my life, every stitch of it, and I am so very content to be where I am, doing the work He has me doing, and living in exactly the place (for now) that He has provided for me to live. My hearts desire has been fulfilled, and I am the recipient of His goodness and His grace. I may not have all my ducks in a row yet, but I am well on my way to seeing that day come to pass.

In fact, I am in such a good place right now that it is practical and applicable for me to take time to look back and see just how far I have come in this journey. I am mid-way through the trials, tests, and while the territory is not 100% hospitable to me, it is good, nonetheless. I have enough provision for today, and I have a solid future ahead of me that is filled with the promise of success and prosperity. I don't know where I will be in 1, 5 or 10 years, but I do know that I will be farther down the line than where I am today. My future is bright, it is filled with hope, and I can see the way clear now. The fog has lifted, the clouds have disappeared, and the sun is shining bright as I look over the horizon to the new day that waits for me. I am ready to walk in the sunshine, to fulfill my calling, to live a life worthy of His Name. I am ready to go and do and be all that He desires for me, and I am ready to take on all the challenges He has in store for me. I know that I will be stretched, I will be challenged, and I will be made stronger, more sturdy, and more able to do the difficult work that lays ahead. God has a great plan for my life, and I am ready to walk in it. I am so ready to go where He is sending me this good day.

Dear Lord,

It has been a long process of reflection, and I see now that you have called me to desire certain things. I have waffled about teaching for so long now, unsure if this is your will or if it was just my stubborn refusal to give up what I wanted (or thought I wanted). I see now that this is your will, it is your desire, and that while I may not understand it completely, this is the path you have chosen for me to walk on. I am content to stay on this path, to go this way, and to experience all you have in mind for me. I am content, I am happy, and I let go of all other options, desires, thoughts that would confuse me, confound me, and contradict what I now know to be true. You have called me to this task, and while it is not the easiest or most natural thing for me to do, it is the THING you have called me to do. I love that you have given me a task that requires work, hard work, and that you provide everything I need to be successful in doing it. I pray now that I can become the very best teacher, the best professor I am capable of being, and that in all my effort, you receive the glory. I want to honor you with my work. I want to bring you my sacrifice of praise every day so that your Name can be lifted high. You are worthy of my praise, you are worthy of my worship. I thank you for the provision of good teaching contracts, and I look forward to the next steps you have in mind for me as I transition from adjunct instructor to FT professor. You alone are worthy to receive our praise! Amen, so be it, thy will be done. Selah!

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