May 20, 2015
The End is in Sight
As I think about my dissertation topic, I begin to panic because it means I am close to finishing my studies at Regent University. My prayer is that I can finish strong, and that I can overcome these last hurdles that seem to be keeping me from settling into the plan the Lord has for my life. I have so much to be thankful for today, and I am giving Him praise and testimony because of what He has done in me and through me these past couple years. I am excited about my future, the hopes and dreams I have for myself, and I am looking forward to the next months and years as the Lord prepares me and trains me to do His work. God is good, so very good to me!
Last evening, I had the opportunity to have a fun conversation with my friend. We are figuring out how to do video chat, which is always a challenge (technologically-speaking). I love the fact that we can see one another as we speak -- it makes it almost like we are in the same room, and that is such a special blessing. It has been fun being in a long distance relationship because it requires far more effort than in a daily face-to-face one. I know that for some people they find that LDR don't work for them, and I think the reason for this is because they (the people involved) need physical contact for the relationship to work. Most people seem to be attracted by physical characteristics first, and then come to find personality or other interests as a secondary benefit. When you engage in a LDR, you don't always have that physical proximity as a primary motivator so you have to talk, really communicate, in order to establish interest. It also means that you have to listen well, really listen, so that you can get a sense of the other persons personality. All of this is to say that in my opinion, it requires more work, more effort, and more commitment to be involved with someone through the Internet, phone, email, and social media, then it does to be able to hang out in frequent proximity. I know that in time, proximity is important, especially as relationships develop, but for now I feel so grateful with what the Lord has provided and is clearly blessing. God is good, so very good to me!
As I think about my life (and I always do), one thing is for sure. I am in a very good place right now, a very good place indeed. I am set for summer courses, and I have most of my teaching contracts in place for fall. I am still waiting on ACU, but I am sure that contract will come soon. Moreover, I applied (yet again) to Western Governors University to be an English Evaluator. This is a part-time online position, and I am qualified for it. WGU never responds to any of my applications, so while I am hopeful that perhaps this time they will, there is part of me that thinks that it is an academic exercise for me to apply. Oh well...
My prayer today is for the Lord to move in a mighty way, and for a job offer to come that will provide more significant income to cover my expenses heading into next year. I am good, really I am good, but the jobs that are out there do pay significantly more than what I am currently making, and frankly, more income and benefits (of which I have none currently) would bless me abundantly. I would like to take a trip to visit my friend in AL, and while I do have a voucher for airfare (I have to use it by December), I would like to have some extra funds to cover all the other expenses. I hope that I can go and see him between summer and Christmas, but I will wait for the Lord to open that door for me. I would like to check out the area, and of course, spend some quality time there so that I can get a good feel for what might be the Lord's will for my life. However, until then, I am steadily waiting for the Lord's provision in other areas, and I feel confident that He will provide for my every need.
Right now, I need a job with income and benefits. I am waffling back and forth on whether it is better to wait for that better job or to pursue something local as a temporary measure. I feel that I need this extra income, not so much to make me more comfortable, but to help my parents be more comfortable. I know that sounds weird, but it is like I feel the Lord saying to me that He intends to provide more income so that I can help offset some costs that are on the horizon. I am not sure what that means other than I have this feeling that it is OK for me to pray for a different job, even a job that will relocate me. For a time this spring, I felt like the Lord was holding me back, telling me to wait, to not apply for anymore jobs. I stopped applying, and I slowly received confirmation back that the jobs I had applied for were not coming to pass. I was OK with that news, after all, it meant that I didn't have to plan a major move this summer. Now, though it seems that He is moving in my life again, and so perhaps, this is why I feel this need to start looking. I don't know...it is so hard to know what to do. In the short run, I am set. In the long run, my life is an open book. I am trusting the Lord to provide regardless of the outcome, and to show me the way to go so that there is no mistake about it. I am moving in His direction, and that means that I am committed to doing the work He has in mind for me. God is good, so very good to me! Selah!
So what does this mean for me today?
Well, I think it means that the end of my trials is very near. I feel good about the direction I am heading, and I have confidence that everything is coming to pass as the Lord desires it for my life. There are some "unknowns" right now, always unknowns, but for the most part they are minor unknowns. The BIG unknowns seems to be settled and fixed, and that means that I can rest and that I no longer have to worry about what may or may not happen. God knows where He intends for me to teach full-time. He knows where He wants me to live (now and in the future), and He knows my days, my weeks, my months, and my years. He has the plan all figured out, and praise be to God, that means that I don't have to worry about it at all. It is done, and He knows it! Hallelujah! He has me so well covered.
The Lord works in mighty and mysterious ways, and I for one, am thankful that He is God and I am not. I mean, would I goof up BIG TIME! Yes, I would. Instead, I can rest in His sufficiency, and in His provision. I can take heed and move in His time. I can listen, I can obey, and I can walk in faithfulness to Him as He leads me on. God is so wonderfully good all the time, and my life, my simple and ordinary life is purposed, planned, and perfected through His marvelous and magnificent grace. He is good, so very good to me! Praise be to God, the Father, He is good! So very, very good!